Thoughts and Ramblings

Body and Blood

2011-08-27T17:27:00.001-05:00

Taking communion is a common Sunday ritual for most Christians. People receive bread and wine (or grape juice), eat it, drink it, and remember Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. It is a beautiful tradition where the church comes together to remember the shared identity and calling we have. It is also an incredibly practical reminder of the lifestyle of the church.

In the New Testament, many of Paul’s letters, the book of Revelation and the Gospels warn against the church becoming “like” the society at-large. From Jesus’ city on a hill to John’s call to persevere, the New Testament is filled with passages reminding the church to be set apart from the world; to be “good news” to the world. This was played out concretely through the early church’s sharing of possessions with one another, renunciation of violence, welcoming the stranger and outcast, and practicing noncooperation with many of the Roman festivals and feasts. This community that was inwardly transformed by Christ indeed had a communal, outward expression of that transformation.

Because of this radical lifestyle that characterized the early church, persecution was common. Rome regularly imprisoned and executed Jesus followers in order to maintain the Roman ordering of society. When daily faced with the possibility of torture or death because of the their common faith and life, the early church needed a reminder of why they were living out a faith that could cost them their lives. The Eucharist helped serve as this reminder. Jesus performed the first Eucharist immediately preceding his arrest, crucifiction and resurrection. The very context of the Eucharist would have given courage to the early church because of their understanding that the “suffering servant” they were following met his end in the same fashion many of them would also experience. This practice also offered hope as Christ promised a future bodily resurrection for his followers. These two realities, symbolized in the Eucharist, gave the early church the ability to live without fear of Rome’s sword as well as the ability to live into the eternal ways of the Kingdom of God.

We need this reminder more than ever today. Jesus once said those who believed would do even greater things than what the twelve disciples experienced. It is my belief that Jesus said this in part because he understood the power of community. With all the injustices happening all over the world, our planet could use some “good news” from communities who are living expressions of the inbreaking Kingdom of God. This is why the Eucharist is so important to our faith. In a world that celebrates war, rewards greed, and ignores the plight of the oppressed, the church proclaims and lives out a different reality. These two realities are colliding every day and are actively vying for our allegiance. Thankfully we have the Eucharist to remind us of who we are as the Church Univeral: a body of believers who have the courage to live radically faithful lives, the strength to endure persecutions, the hope in a kingdom that is just, and the love that would cast out any fear that may come from the empire’s sword.

May the Eucharist be celebrated in our meals as a 3-a-day reminder of who we are and to whom we serve.

Read more at http://www.scribd.com/fullscreen/63369263?access_key=key-10uv87ceeiasimu66f3t

Report on Witness Against Nuclear Weapons Plant in KC

2011-05-12T11:04:00.000-05:00

On Monday, May 2nd over 150 people gathered at the main entrance of the new nuclear weapons plant currently being built on 150 highway. The witness started with a street theater satirizing the "Religion of the Bomb," bringing to light the trust we place in this weapon of mass destruction for our security. In reality this is a form of civil religion and one of the idols of our time.

All were called to join in lamentation to recognize our common complicity:

We have all been part of darkness,
But we are light in the Lord.
Let us live our lives as Children of Light!
Light produces good fruit, the fruit of goodness, justice and truth.
So come out of the darkness, and expose it to the light.
Wake up sleeper, Rise from death,
and the Lord will Shine on you.

Ephesians 5:8-14

From there we transitioned into an ecumenical worship and sharing that lifted up the hope of Resurrection Living. One of the statements read, entitled "Transformation, Not Annihilation,” stated:

"The spirit of Easter has brought us together in hope--hope for life over death. We are here to call for the conversion of this plant from an instrument of war to an instrument of life... We lament this, the first new nuclear weapons production plant in 32 years, which will continue to make 85% of the non nuclear parts for nuclear weapons. We lament that over $815 million of Kansas City municipal bonds—which should be spent on social uplift--is being spent on building this plant. We lament the health risks posed by this plant to its workers and the people and environment of Kansas City. We have hope for the conversion of this plant--we imagine a rebirth where this site would provide beneficial, peaceful and green jobs, such as solar and wind energy jobs.”

After breaking bread, the crowd moved toward the gates of the complex. Some felt let by their conscience to continue "Gospel Obedience" by refusing to leave the road. In all 53 people were arrested and charged with criminal trespass, a city ordinance. Contrary to what was reported in the KC Star newspaper, the majority of people arrested were local, 32 from the home state of Missouri and 17 of those from KC.

15 min - Video of entire action
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-s329ZW97k

Photos:
http://blog.ericbowersphoto.com/2011/05/nuclear-bomb-parts-plant-protest-monday/
https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/sredir?uname=joshua.mac&target=ALBUM&id=5602167213622481377&authkey=Gv1sRgCIXnpK2J0tbWcA&feat=email

Cherith Brook Catholic Worker, along with our sister community, Holy Family House Catholic Worker, co-hosted the event. Our theme was, "The Hope of Easter and a Disarmed World." The event began over the weekend and was an inspiring time of worship, clarification of thought and discernment, framed by morning and evening prayers.

At the height of activity over 150 people were present. Though most were from the greater Kansas City area, 20 different Catholic worker communities across the Midwest were also represented.

Art Laffin from the Dorothy Day CW in Washington, DC set the tone for the retreat with his talk that included an inspiring reflection on the Resurrection and Gospel nonviolence, comments on current nuclear policy, and the human and environmental cost of militarism, war and nuclear weapons. It concluded by calling all of us to engage in nonviolent resistance to the Nuclear Empire we live in and to hope for a disarmed world. (see the link for the text to Art's speech)

http://groups.google.com/group/National-CW-E-mail-List/browse_thread/thread/ac9b863e3b529715

On Sunday morning, a contingent of 20 retreat-ants held a prayer service at the entrance of the site next to the bill board that read, "Future home of NNSA - National Nuclear Security Administration Campus." Upon our return, we had an ecumenical worship service including Scripture reading, personal responses and Eucharist.

One of the Scriptural themes for the retreat comes from Acts 5:29, when the local powers try to silence the apostles for proclaiming the hope and truth of the resurrection. Peter responds by saying, "We must obey God rather than human authority.” We all consider the power of the resurrection to lay a greater claim on our lives than the false sense of security and idolatry of nuclear weapons.

It is noteworthy that among those arrested include strong representation from the host communities: Rachael Hoffman, Mark Bartholomew, Gina Cook, Robyn Haas, Br. Louis Rodemann, Sr. Theresa Maly, Sr. Mary Cecile Breen of Holy Family House and their extended community.

And Josh Armfield, Eric Garbison, Jodi Garbison, Nick Pickrell, Micah Waters, Elisabeth Rutschman, Sharon Hannah, and Christian Soulliere of Cherith Brook and our extended community.

We encourage each of you to discern ways to become more involved as people of faith in this local effort. How can you help?

Financial gifts are needed to help defray the cost of our legal fees.
Become more informed about the issue and then share what you’ve learned with your neighbor.
Challenge your religious leaders to get involved, become familiar with your church’s teaching on nuclear weapons and bring it before your faith community.
Get involved in KC Peace Planters, the local grassroots coalition, http://www.peaceworkskc.org/kcplant
If you’re a KCMO registered voter, participate in the vote on November 8 that will prohibit the production of nuclear weapons components at the new plant.
And pray, pray, pray…"for the prayers of the faithful availeth much."

In witness to the Resurrection,
Cherith Brook Catholic Worker

National Catholic Reporter news report:
http://ncronline.org/news/peace/over-50-arrested-protesting-nuclear-weapons-plant

Living by the Sword

2011-04-03T22:10:00.000-05:00

In Jim Douglass’ recent work, JFK and the Unspeakable, he writes in great detail about JFK’s turn toward peace and how it led to a great rift between the former president and the military industrial complex. In the book, Douglass shares from one of Thomas Merton’s writings:

“Our weapons dictate what we are to do. They force us into awful corners. They give us our living, they sustain our economy, they bolster up our politicians, they sell our mass media, in short we live by them. But if they continue to rule us we will most surely die by them.”

Thomas Merton, a highly revered spiritual leader, saw something very sinister happening in the world. As World War II ended and the arms race of the Cold War began, Merton saw nothing but doom ahead. Military spending across the world increased sharply. More weapons were built, more workers were employed to build them, and more resources were diverted from other sectors to accommodate the arms buildup. This caused large amounts of people to become reliant on war for their family’s survival.

The year is now 2011 and we are living in a nation where unemployment has skyrocketed but the military is hiring and spending significantly more than it did during the Cold War years (even after accounting for the inflation rate). The DOD is the nation’s largest employer, touting a workforce four times as large as Wal-Mart’s 1.3 million employees. We are spending over 54% of our nation’s discretionary budget on the military while education gets 6.2% and health gets 5.3%. Our nation is also the biggest spender when it comes to the military, accounting for 46.5% of the world’s total military spending while the next top 10 countries combined for only 20.8% of the world’s total military spending (Stockholm International Peace Research Institute, Yearbook 2010).

Aside from financial concerns, many young adults are joining the military today for economic reasons. They need a job with benefits to provide for their family; they need a way to pay for college; they need a way to pay for training to become a pilot; or they would like to be able to travel the world. Recruitment brochures highlight these perks but downplay the physical and emotional cost that comes with taking another life. At Cherith Brook, there are many we love who have been unable to cope with the horrors of war and now struggle with addiction, homelessness, and mental illness. Also, our neighborhood high school is a military magnet school and for many students is the only obvious path towards a college education.

As more and more Iraq and Afganistan veterans show up at our place for a shower and a meal, it is becoming apparent that a new path must be forged. We are now dying by the very swords we have made, and more and more families are being ravaged by the pain of losing sons and daughters because of war.

Peter Maurin, co-founder of the Catholic Worker movement, spoke adamantly about how all people should be able to practice the Works of Mercy in their jobs. Meaning, all should have occupations where they are not contributing to war, exploitation, oppression, and destruction of life, which is the antithesis of the Works of Mercy. Working toward this vision of a society without war can seem overwhelming or foolish to some, but we are in desperate need of a new way forward. To help break us from the hopelessness that sets in when thinking of how to affect positive change in society, below is a modest proposal for how to “build a society where its easier for people to be good.”

A woodcut entitled Peaceable Kingdom by Fritz Eichenberg

1. Get out of debt
Students in the US have an average of $24,000 in school loans, households in the US have an average of $8,100 of credit card debt, and 80% of Americans are living with debt. These three statistics spell disaster for many. Because the majority of Americans are living in debt, two things happen. First, businesses are granted the opportunity to “lord it over” their workers. If the majority of the labor pool is in debt and desperately seeking gainful employment, businesses gain an unfair advantage over the workers. From low pay and no benefits, to longer work weeks with no vacation, businesses can do what they want and expect to still have many people applying for positions at their company.

Second, debt puts the worker in a precarious situation. If an indebted worker feels an injustice has been committed in the workplace, the realities of possible termination and long lines at unemployment weigh heavily on someone who wants to address the injustices they face. The worker is forced to decide between taking on multiple low-paying jobs to make ends meet or risk losing everything because the employer decided to replace all the workers who thought they were being treated unjustly. The worker ends up being enslaved not only to his or her debt but also to the employer.

When we come out from under the burden of debt, we are freer to be men and women of conscience. We are freer to speak up and act out against the many injustices in the world because we are no longer enslaved by debt.

2. Join a community
We live in a society where aggressive competition runs rampant. Nations compete in arms races, economics, and education. Individuals compete in the workplace and in politics. This kind of competition does nothing but tear communities apart and create conflicts like the Cold War. In order to create a more lasting peace, we need to recapture the practice of collaboration and camaraderie. Pope John XXIII, in his famous “Pacem in Terris” Encyclical, states:

“Everyone must sincerely co-operate in the effort to banish fear and the anxious expectation of war from men’s minds. But this requires that the fundamental principles upon which peace is based in today’s world be replaced by an altogether different one, namely, the realization that true and lasting peace among nations cannot consist in the possession of an equal supply of armaments but only in mutual trust.”

This was written in 1963, when both the Vietnam War and the arms race with the Soviet Union were escalating. The world was anxious and fearful, and not much has changed. From high unemployment rates to the “War on Terror,” people are still being beat down by fear and a “dog-eat-dog” workplace. What better way to counter all this fear and competitiveness than by living in community.

In community, fear and competitiveness give way to collaboration and camaraderie. Instead of looking out for one’s self at the expense of others, people take personal responsibility for the community. Also, with all this newfound sharing comes new possibilities. Through the sharing of resources people are freed up to work less--allowing more time to foster a healthy community. People are then freed to inspire, challenge, and encourage one another--which leads to mutual trust. And that is the foundation of a more lasting peace.

3. Live below the poverty line
As stated earlier, 54% of our nation’s discretionary budget is spent on war while 11% is spent on education and health care combined. Martin Luther King, Jr. was prophetic when he said, “A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.” With the reality of our nation’s runaway military spending coupled with the worst economic collapse since the Great Depression, it is becoming more apparent that we can’t pay for war as well as health care and education. Something is going to have to give in order to pay for it all. Thankfully, we don’t have to wait in order to bring about change in this arena.

The military’s budget comes largely from our tax dollars. Over the years, more and more of our tax dollars have been diverted to cover the rising cost of war. Individual and corporation income taxes, excise taxes on tobacco and alcohol, estate taxes, gift taxes, customs duties, and savings bonds (formerly war bonds) are all taxes that have been and are still used for war. The way we can change this is through war tax resistance.

There are two main ways people have resisted over the years. First, individuals can choose to donate the percentage of their tax dollars used for war to any charity or justice organization they choose. Many will also include a letter to the IRS stating what they did, why they did it, and enclose the receipt for the donation that was made. Second, individuals can live below the poverty line to avoid paying federal income taxes, which is the primary tax source for the military. The good news is that if you are living in community it is significantly easier to live below the poverty line because of the sharing of resources. Either way, practicing war tax resistance is an empowering way to build a society that cherishes peace over war.

4. Craft Economy
The holiday shopping season with all its advertising repeatedly tells us that unless we have certain benchmark items then we are not worth much. Even children get in on the act, pressuring parents to go out and buy, buy, buy. Because of Mammon’s evangelists--advertisers--many shoppers turn into wild animals come Black Friday. People end up trampled on, beaten down and, in some cases, killed. All because we gave in to the god of consumption. If we are honest though, many of us are addicted to materialism even outside of the holiday shopping season. We want to “possess” lots of things that might grant us status or power, even though all of these things will break or rust or decay.

Because of our propensity for materialism, our stewardship of the earth has greatly diminished. We drive everywhere in cars, heat and cool our houses, buy everything wrapped in plastic, and play video games. In essence, we have isolated ourselves from nature. We throw away lots of things and watch it magically disappear, not knowing where it goes. We eat food from grocery stores and know nothing of the farms that grew it. We buy cell phones, clothes, and televisions and have no idea of the injustices that exist in the manufacturing of these items. Instead, we turn a blind eye to the harm being done to the earth because of our insatiable thirst for consumer goods.

These conditions have given birth to a war between man and creation. Deforestation, soil erosion, drought, pollution and food shortages are all signs of this battle. Thankfully, in our attempts to disconnect ourselves from the earth, we are reminded of our interconnectedness. Remember the tomato shortage recently? The weather wasn’t conducive to a healthy tomato crop so a massive shortage occurred, causing many restaurants to charge anyone who wanted tomatoes on their sandwich. Despite industry’s claim on our allegiance, we were reminded that even industry can’t prevent a crop from going bad.

In the book of Isaiah, a beautiful description of the Kingdom of God is proclaimed. People will live in the houses they build, eat the food they grow, and the lion will lay with the lamb. There is a sense of justice and harmony between God and man, brother and sister, woman and creation.

All are in harmony, working together for an everlasting peace on earth. Our way to enter into that kind of harmony now is through local living and artisanry. Growing food, making gifts, and trading goods with one another does a couple of things to accomplish this. One, it is humanizing. In war, a very deliberate effort is made to dehumanize the enemy by distancing and differentiating “us” from “them.” This gives people the ability to destroy the enemy easier. Remember the Christmas Truce of 1914? Once the enemies came together to share pictures, food and stories, no one wanted to fight each other anymore. The same holds true for the environment. The more distance we put between ourselves and the natural earth, the easier it is for us to exploit and abuse it. By making the goods we need, riding bicycles, and growing food we decrease this distance and forge a new connection with the earth.

The other thing local living and artisanry does is put a face on economics. So much of our work and consumption happens inside large multi-national corporations. These corporations in many ways take on the role of god for us. They are entities that we enter into, get money from, buy goods from and produce for--which creates a dependency. Conversely, when we practice trading and bartering food we have grown, we realize that we need God to bring some rain so our crops don’t die. The intermediary has been removed and a dependence on God and neighbor emerges. It is empowering to know how to better a neighbor’s life directly, without the corporation acting as the central hub.

Lastly, local living and artisanry slow us down. Whenever anyone commits to making and repurposing things, it takes time. We are forced to sit for hours when looming a rug or carving a spoon. Sure, we could buy it and save time but a mind shift needs to take place. Anytime we buy something that could have been made, it really is time lost--not gained. Anytime we give in to the snare of busyness and efficiency, we lose presence to the moment as well as time for solitude. This truly is time lost when we so desperately need that kind of time to foster a healthy heart, family and community.

5. Put your home in a trust
The Year of Jubilee is a pretty radical way to practice economics. In Leviticus 25:23, Moses relays this message from God to the people of Israel, “The land must not be sold permanently, because the land is mine and you reside in my land as foreigners and strangers.” In a society that has a strong sense of entitlement, this verse gives us a much needed shift in perspective. God reminds the people of Israel that the land is ultimately God’s so they are not to possess it.

A. W. Tozer, in the book called The Pursuit of God, puts fresh words to this Old Testament Jubilee practice. He calls it “the blessedness of possessing nothing,” and goes on to say that the benefit of possessing nothing is that we are then free to treat all we have as a gift. Houses, food, friendships and family are no longer possessions to be grasped tightly but rather gifts meant to be shared and cherished.

Along with possessing nothing comes a sense of freedom. I remember the time a fellow worker, Josh, was talking about how free he felt when he was riding his bicycle across the country. “It was just me, my bicycle, and the road.” I think Josh was practicing the “ blessedness of possessing nothing.” He spent two months of his summer being present to all that was around him while sharing conversations, meals and bike rides with others along way. Another way to engage in this Jubilee practice of non-possession is by putting your home into a trust. And don’t stop there! Invite others to share in this gift as well. When living in community, a shared household can be a beautiful thing because everyone who moves in is equally responsible for caring and nurturing the shared gift. Everyone then has the opportunity to share in both the joys and burdens of keeping up a place so many people call “home.”

6. Practice the Works of Mercy
Nothing could be further from participating in war than practicing the Works of Mercy. A longtime Catholic Worker, Rita Corbin, created a beautiful banner which contrasts the Works of Mercy and the Works of War. It highlights how diametrically opposed they both are to one another. In practicing mercy people feed the hungry; in war people burn crops and land. In practicing mercy people care for the sick; in war people inflict wounds and kill. War creates peace through fear of the other while mercy leads to a mutual trust built on love--which is fundamental for a more lasting peace.

Another way to look at the power of the Works of Mercy is to understand what the Matthew 25 passage meant in Jesus’ day. When Jesus speaks of feeding the hungry, think of how Jesus embodied that. He invited the poor, the ill, the sinner, the prostitute and the tax collector to the table. Jesus ate with them. They shared stories. They were welcomed. The Pharisees were outraged by this because it violated their clean/unclean laws. They were outraged because Jesus was eating with the “enemies” of the Jewish society. Jesus also exploded the conventional meaning of “neighbor” in his day. The parable of the good Samaritan is a prime example of this. A Jewish person is robbed and beaten and a Samaritan comes to help the beaten man while a priest and Levite pass right by. Samaritans and Jews loathed each other in Jesus’ day and yet he uses this parable to describe how to be a good neighbor.

What Jesus did was decrease distance from one another. Jesus intentionally brought together the rich and the poor, the “clean” and the “unclean,” all to demonstrate the way of the peaceable kingdom. He understood that making someone “other,” by dehumanizing another human, is to make war with them. It is to make someone our enemy. The Works of Mercy is the prescription offered for changing a people bent on elevating themselves over another, and by practicing mercy we undo the inner attitudes that lead to war and violence.

* * *

There are many ways to live differently - peaceably - in these days. The Catholic Workers, the Community of the Ark, the Bruderhof Communities, the Koinonia Farm, and the many monastic orders are all groups of people who are devoted to living life differently in the present day. These communities look different in the way they operate but are similar in that they are proof that we can live differently. St. Francis of Assissi once said, “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” These are very empowering words for anyone looking to loosen the grip war has over them. It encourages movement, however small, in the direction one wishes to live. Then, by continuing to take small steps towards peace, the impossible will suddenly be happening and there will be no end to the possibilities of what can be accomplished.

It is imperative, however, to begin this journey now. In the midst of a turbulent time, Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of how he journeyed to the mountaintop and saw the promised land on the other side. Many people caught that vision and pursued it. Until we are willing to make the same step-by-step progress towards realizing a reality marked by peace instead of war we will never make it to the other side of the mountain - marked by peace, tranquility and freedom. Let us join together in the necessary work of “building a society where it is easier for people to be good.”

The Church and the Powers

2010-08-05T16:51:00.004-05:00

“Wherever the early Christians entered a town the power structure got disturbed and immediately sought to convict them for being “disturbers of the peace” and “outside agitators.” But they went on with the conviction that they were “a colony of heaven,” and had to obey God rather than [human beings]....

Things are different now. The contemporary church is often a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. It is so often the arch-supporter of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church’s silent and often vocal sanction of things as they are.”

There is much to ponder in this excerpt from Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter from Birmingham City Jail.” I don’t think many on this side of the civil rights movement would ever question the actions of those involved in the civil rights struggle--which landed many people in jails, beaten up, or dead. Same goes for the labor movement in the early part of the 20th century, or for the women’s suffrage movement of the 1920’s. In all of these instances, people acknowledged that the power structure was wrong and decided to not follow the unjust laws anymore. All of a sudden you had Rosa Parks refusing to move from her seat on a bus, a city-wide strike in St. Louis with union workers taking care of one another while the exploitative corporations lost months of potential revenue, and Susan B Anthony being jailed for casting a vote in the 1872 presidential election. In all of these instances, the oppressed simply refused to obey the “powers and principalities” that lorded over them.

Jesus did the same thing. In his triumphal entry, Jesus made preparations like one would for war. He came down from the Mount of Olives like one would when preparing to battle for Jerusalem’s liberation. The people praised him like one would a Lord and Savior. The difference is that he came into town on a donkey, not a chariot; he came as a servant, not as a ruler who lords over people; he came unarmed, not with swords and spears. Jesus was staking his claim on Jerusalem with no weapons while riding on a donkey! He was satirizing the powers of his day. This demonstration coupled with the chaotic scene in the temple courts (flipping the tables) ultimately led to Jesus’ imprisonment and death. Jesus did not obey the cumbersome laws of the Pharisees that oppressed the poor, and he did not proclaim Caesar as lord. Instead, Jesus enacted an alternative way of life - one that says the first shall be last and the last shall be first, and one that proclaims God as being over all.

In our age there are similar powers at work. There are anti-camping laws that are used regularly to hassle homeless men and women who are trying to sleep. There are laws being enacted that racially profile our Mexican brothers and sisters. There are corporate lobby groups that drown out the cries of ordinary citizens. There are wars being waged abroad while we are facing enormous amounts of foreclosures and unemployment at home. All of these things are happening, and yet the contemporary church is silent. In many cases, the church condemns the kind of holy imagination people like MLK demonstrated because it would mean breaking the “law.” The question I would pose then is this: what laws are we bound to first and foremost? If we claim Christ as our king the answer should be simple. We answer to Christ, and while we submit to the earthly power structures as Christ did when he accepted his sentence of crucifixion, we will refuse to obey any man-made law as it conflicts with the higher law of God.

In Romans 13, Paul speaks of submitting to the governing authorities, but it mentions nothing of obeying. This is an important point. Later Paul goes on to say in another letter that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world...” Here Paul is laying out exactly what it is we are up against. He is telling us that the church will be in conflict with the kingdoms of this world. The early Christians were persecuted because their community was a threat to the powers and authorities. Rome believed in peace by the sword. They prevented many insurrections because of the steep penalty, crucifixion. But then, the Christian community emerged with the risen Christ as their king, who had conquered death. They had a deep allegiance to Christ because of the love Christ showed them, and they shed their allegiance to Rome. This perfect love cast out the fear the Christian community had of Rome’s sword, and many of them spent years in jail or were executed for their allegiance to God’s kingdom.

Today is no different. Many Catholic Worker houses actively resist these rulers and authorities, and the most potent resistance we have to offer is our way of life. Just like Rosa Parks sitting on the bus like everyone else, many Catholic Worker houses and other intentional Christian communities resist by simply living the way Christ compels us to. If that gets us into trouble, so be it. Our community has gotten yelled at for giving food away on our downtown streets, but Christ tells us to feed the hungry so we continue to give. Some policemen refer to us as the “cult on 12th street” because about a dozen people who are unrelated live together and share all we have, but the early church regularly shared so no one was in need among them. We are escorted out of city hall meetings because we voice our opposition to further criminalizing those women who are being prostituted on our streets while the johns walk away, but Jesus also came alongside the prostitute (where the man involved was also strangely absent) and prevented an execution.

When Jesus stood before Pilate, he told Pilate that “my kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews.” Yes, the kingdom of God is not of this world. The nations lord over its people while Christ served his, the nations proclaim wars while Christ proclaimed peace, the nations keep order with fear while Christ keeps order with love, the nations conquer through military might while Christ conquers through laying down his own life. I wonder how our society would be changed if the church were bold enough to live like she was called to live 2000 years ago.

Sarah, a sister in our community, came home from her church recently and was upset by some remarks her priest had made. It was the 4th of July, and the priest shared a story about what he experienced on a recent trip to the nation’s capitol. He said he could only see two things lit up as the plane made its final descent--the capitol building and the church. He used that image as a sign that there is a connection to be made--that the church and the state were to be one. Sarah, disgusted by this comparison, left the church and came home. While I think the priest’s reflections on the connectedness of the church and the capitol building were correct, I think he was off in his conclusion. I think his story speaks more to how the church has been operating like a power, just like the state. Many churches operate out of fear. They fear losing members so the church emulates the nation and what it believes. Issues of economics, war and peace are rarely discussed because the nation has thoroughly indoctrinated its citizens and have been taught to hate anything contrary to what it teaches. This is why Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s remarks are so relevant even today. Until the church is able to reclaim her holy imagination and begin to live as the early church lived, she will only serve as a tool to further indoctrinate us in the ways of the kingdoms of this world, not the kingdom of God. May the church once again speak out against injustices. May the church once again take a stand against the powers. May the church once again live the way Christ has called us to live, even if it puts us in jail. Our nation is full of people who are intoxicated. But it is a different kind of intoxication. People have been intoxicated by drinking the cup the powers so readily offer us, and the Church is the sobering agent. Remember, our battle is not against any person but the powers and principalities. So let us take up the struggle to reclaim our citizenship in the peaceable kingdom that gives eternal life, whatever the cost may be. After all, that’s why we believe in the resurrection.

WHAT THE CATHOLIC WORKER BELIEVES: PERSONALISM

2010-04-19T22:50:00.003-05:00

FEEDING THE POOR AT A SACRIFICE
by Peter Maurin

In the first centuries
of Christianity
the hungry were fed
at a personal sacrifice,
the naked were clothed
at a personal sacrifice,
the homeless were sheltered
at a personal sacrifice.
And because the poor
were fed, clothed and sheltered
at a personal sacrifice,
the pagans used to say about the Christians
“See how they love each other.”
In our own day
The poor are no longer
fed, clothed and sheltered
at a personal sacrifice,
but at the expense
of the taxpayers.
And because the poor
are no longer
fed, clothed and sheltered
the pagans say about the Christians
“See how they pass the buck.”

There is a line from one of Peter Maurin’s Easy Essays that explains the title of this article well. “The Catholic Worker believes in the personal obligation of looking after the needs of our brother.” I couldn’t have said it better; however, understanding what this means for our lives is a more difficult task.

If we take a look at the Final Judgement passage found in Matthew 25, we read those recognizable words, “I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” In this passage, it is revealed to us that we are indeed our brother’s keeper—and that there are certain ramifications if we neglect this command. If we look at each individual phrase, we notice something else as well. Every single statement in Matthew 25 pertains to services that require the gift of time. We cannot feed someone who is hungry without taking the time to either cook or buy the food that will fill our hungry brother’s and sister’s stomachs. It is also important to note that there are no middlemen listed in this passage. The verse doesn’t read, “I was hungry and you gave to the United Way.” I mean the United Way no harm but am raising the point that too often we see practicing the works of mercy through the lens of the dollar. We freely give from our pocketbooks but let other priorities prevent us from giving the gift of time talked about in Matthew.

Living at the Catholic Worker doesn’t necessarily mean that we have this figured out either. Although we try to offer hospitality daily through a shower, some clothes, or a simple meal this task can be done without any love and care. These tasks, just like any other, can be stripped of personalism and then be found wearing the robe of bureaucracy.

There is a man who panhandles in our neighborhood named Bob. He sleeps most nights in a tent nearby. On one particular evening the temperature was predicted to dip well below zero so we opened our home to him for the night. We listened to him play guitar and tell stories. Then he began to speak about how he would rather sleep outside than at a local homeless shelter. The reason, he said, is that he doesn’t feel safe or trusted there. “There’s too much red tape.”

The homeless shelter Bob was referring to is a rather large establishment—a one-stop shop kind of place. They do a beautiful thing by offering temporary shelter to hundreds of people a night; however, because of the mass amount of people needing care, lines form. Lines form and people have to continue to line up for each service they need. Because of all these lines there are rules and policies in place in order to keep things running smoothly. The downside to all of this is that it can be very easy to never know anyone whom you are serving—which serves to perpetuate the dehumanization of our friends who experience life on the streets. These people, our brothers and sisters, end up being treated like cattle to be herded around and around.

The shelter, however, is not the only place susceptible to this dehumanizing, impersonal way. Even at Cherith Brook we battle our own inclinations to treat this life of hospitality and community like a job—clocking in at nine and clocking out at five. This happens despite us committing to remain small so we can truly know our brothers and sisters. Thankfully, our guests who come in for showers each day teach us the way to practice the gentle personalism Peter Maurin talks about. This teaching comes in unexpected ways and if we are not attuned to it, these moments will pass us by.

Our friend Crystal is someone we visit with regularly when we are spending time on the streets of the Northeast. We usually hand out sack lunches and chat a bit, but this time a volunteer of ours offered Crystal a tube of chap stick after noticing her cracked lips. Crystal’s face lit up with delight after receiving this unexpected gift. There are also a number of our friends from the streets who come to Cherith Brook faithfully every morning to sit and relax, but last week the whole room exploded with song and laughter when Luis played La Bamba on the guitar.

All of these stories—Bob and the shelter, Crystal and the chap stick, Luis and La Bamba—have something in common. All of these stories involve the unexpected. Crystal never asked for the chap stick, Bob didn’t ask to stay at our place and Luis wasn’t told to play La Bamba. All of these acts of kindness burst forth because a person loved another person so much that they were compelled to contribute to their well-being. Another word for this is thoughtfulness. It is no different than a child drawing something and giving it to their parents; no different than a husband attending a concert he may not enjoy because he knows his wife loves the band; no different than a family who stays day and night by a loved one’s bedside when he or she is ill. All of these things involve love, time, family and sacrifice.

There is another interesting common thread to all of these stories. All of these displays of personalism involved a person doing something more—something different—than the usual. Even though we offer people a shower, a meal and some clothes, it is the “little things” that show our love for our guests. These small acts of thoughtfulness tear down the social, economic, and racial barriers that have been erected in our land, and give birth to things like family and comradery. It is never the shelter, never the program that restores humanity. It is the individual caring for the individual that restores all of our humanity and creates community.

When we practice personalism we no longer treat people as objects to be proselytized. We no longer make people our own “fixer upper” projects. We no longer ask, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” as Cain did. Instead, we open our homes to one another, sing songs for one another, and give out tubes of chap stick. We say, “Peace to you, brother. Peace to you, sister,” as we throw our arms around our friends who are the poor among us. And by doing so, maybe we will again hear people say of the Christian, “See how they love each other.”

The Bum's Rush

2009-12-30T21:41:00.001-06:00

THE WAR AGAINST THE POOR

There are many who live in the northeast who experience hundreds of lose-lose situations that our laws, policies, and cultural practices help create and maintain. I recently read a letter that Mother Teresa wrote urging both George Bush Sr. and Saddam Hussein to consider their poor and the ill effects war would have on them if violence were to ensue. She talked of all the poor having no place to go, all the displaced persons being rendered poor, and all the soldier’s families being torn apart by violence.

This simple letter gave me pause. My mind then turned to those I call sister, brother, and friend. I thought of all of the people in our neighborhood caught in an endless cycle of catch 22’s and how we, the privileged class, have played a part in it. After a year of accompanying our guests as they go to court, rehab, ER, or to city hall it has become clear to me that there is much work to be done to break the yoke that is enslaving the poor of our city.

Below are a few simple reflections on the hardships our friends and guests live and endure on a daily basis, as well as some of the ways the privileged class experience the “deep poverty” Mother Teresa speaks of often in her writings.

-------------

The poor receive our leftovers—our clothes, our food, our work, our shelter.
The poor are concentrated in the ghettos.
The ghettos are dilapidated.
The poor are treated as sub-human.

The poor do manual labor for work.
The poor work and sometimes don’t receive money.
The poor panhandle and sometimes receives money.
The poor become unemployed when economies crash.

The poor experience daily violence.
The poor are robbed.
The poor are beaten.
The poor are raped.
The poor are exploited.
The poor are criminalized.

The jobs move away from the ghettos.
The poor don’t have cars to get to work outside the ghettos.
The buses don’t run out to where the jobs are.
The poor can’t find work.

The poor lose their homes when property taxes rise.
The poor move deeper into the ghettos.
The poor search for homes.
The poor sneak into abandoned homes to get out of the cold.

The poor are told they can’t sleep in parks.
The poor are told they can’t sleep in abandoned houses.
The poor are told they can’t sleep in the woods.
The poor are told they can’t socialize on sidewalks.
The poor are told they can’t ask for money.

The poor get arrested.
The poor can’t afford to pay fines.
The poor serve jail time.
The poor get felonies.

The poor with felonies can’t receive food stamps.
The poor with felonies can’t get work.
The poor with felonies can’t get housing.
The poor with felonies spend more time in jail.

The poor are killed or displaced in times of war.
The poor die due to inability to pay for health care.

The poor can’t afford to run for political office.
The poor can’t afford to lobby.
The poor can’t afford to be a shareholder.
The poor live at the mercy of others.
Then the poor are told to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

The poor in our neighborhood end up being treated like unwanted animals. Thankfully, Christ told the poor they would be first in the kingdom of heaven. That is a reason to hope.

The rich are told to give to the poor.
The rich are also poor.

Poor because of riches.
Poor because of greed.
Poor because of loneliness.
Poor because of strategic relationships.
Poor because of aggressive competition.
Poor because of isolation.
Poor because of rugged individualism.
Poor because of performance evaluation.
Poor because of busyness.
Poor because of fear.
Poor because of hoarding.
Poor because of materialism.
Then the rich are told to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

--------

Jesus says something astounding in his Sermon on the Plain—that the kingdom of God belongs to the poor. Not only that, but repeatedly Jesus calls the rich into a life of giving and service to the poor in our midst. As Cherith Brook CW struggles to break free from the pursuit of wealth, the scramble for security and our obsession with individualism, something new bursts forth. When we learn to share more radically, serve more humbly and love more completely we are always taken aback by how much we end up receiving. A simple thanks, a shower curtain, a box of oranges, food salvaged from a dumpster, moonflower seeds, a couple of dollars for our water bill, a hug. When we begin taking concrete steps to break through the economic and social barriers that exist in our society, we will surprisingly discover the chains of oppression being broken. Not only that, but we will also find ourselves calling our “enemies” friends and discovering the beauty and brokenness within all of us.

It's Been A Whole Year?

2009-12-30T21:26:00.003-06:00

THE PAST TWELVE MONTHS
This past year has been a really great one. It has been full of new experiences, new challenges, new joys, and new friendships. I first joined the Catholic Worker last November so I thought it would be best to highlight some of the changes that has taken place in my life from one year ago.

RELOCATION
The first major step for me was to move into the Historic Northeast neighborhood. This neighborhood is featured on the nightly news often because of the crime that exists here. After working through some of my initial fears about the neighborhood, it has really grown on me. I can call many of our guests “friend” and am constantly amazed at how much they teach me. From one-legged Bill teaching me how to give my car a tune up to Marvin teaching me about living in dependence of one another, it truly has been life changing.

TRANSFORMATION
I had never before seen (nor given any thought to) the huge chasm that separates the suburban life from the inner city life. Over the course of the year I have become deeply saddened by this reality, and have been exploring ways to deepen my own solidarity with those who were born into poverty. I think of Jesus’ message in Mat. 25 where He speaks of giving food to the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, etc. I have begun to see the transformative power of these words. These words lived out bring about justice. They bring about justice because as we literally feed, clothe, shelter, and heal the poor we enter into relationship with them. Unlike giving money to charity who then gives to the poor, coming face to face with Jesus in the least of these compels us to open our homes and our lives to one another. It is the mutual sharing of gifts with one another that leaves both people forever changed, and that relationship plays a vital role in forming that new “beloved community” that Jesus initiated with those first disciples. Practicing the works of mercy have opened my eyes to the reality of a community where there is no Jew or gentile, slave or free, man or woman. We are all the same in this new family, which is justice and not charity.

THE NONVIOLENCE OF JESUS
“The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral. You can murder the hater but you can’t murder the hate. You just increase hate. Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

After having lost 5 friends this past year to violence, and seeing countless others come to our place with black eyes and broken bones I find myself unable to justify any violence. Our friends who live on the streets daily experience verbal, societal, psychological, and physical violence. The people in our neighborhood find themselves in desperate situations and we work to undo violence by welcoming all as family and taking care of all as a family would care for its hurting brothers and sisters.

Jesus told us very clearly to love those who persecute us, and to pray for our enemies. He also instructed us to feed and clothe our enemy if that’s what he or she needed. I see how this works now, and am learning every day what it looks like to forgive and love. When we practice forgiveness, hate within us dies, and when we actively love those who hate us, we end up bringing light into very dark places.

ALL THINGS IN COMMON
About eight months ago our community decided to share all our outside earnings with one another. With the start of this common purse, each community member now works twenty hours per week and somehow we always have enough to go around. With our incomes combined, we have been able to share the burden of auto repairs, medical bills, cell phone payments, and grocery costs with each other. It has been great getting to discover how we can do much more together than apart, and to see how individualism kept us from experiencing this beautiful gift of freedom and community.

LOOKING AHEAD
I have decided to stick around another year at Cherith Brook, and am excited about what will be in store these coming months. There will be some changes this coming year and I wanted to give you a heads up.

The most noticeable change will be that I will no longer be sending these newsletters out. Instead, I am going to focus my attention on the Cherith Brook publications that come out three times per year. I am making this change so I can focus more time on our guests who visit us at the house. Never fear, though! I will still update my website from time to time so feel free to continue to check up on me at http://nickpickrell.blogspot.com.

Secondly, all donations you send in will be going into our common pot. Let me explain this further. Because of our sharing of incomes, when people give they are giving to the community as a whole. All will benefit from your gifts. Your gifts help pay for the water bill so we can continue to offer showers four days a week, your gifts pay for the groceries we need to eat, your gifts pay for the loans on the houses so we can remain here, your gifts pay for bus passes so our friends can receive medical attention, your gifts pay for seeds we use to grow food for our guests and ourselves. Your gifts go to much bigger things than just an individual and I hope that this fact inspires you.

Thank you so much once more for your continued support (especially with all the changes I’ve been taking you all through). Even though this is the last personal newsletter I will be sending out, giving to Cherith Brook still works the same. Simply make your checks out to “Cherith Brook” and mail it in to our address: 3308 E 12th St. KCMO 64127.

I hope you had a great advent season, and I would just like to take these last moments to personally invite you to Cherith Brook. I would love nothing more than for you to “come and see” what it is Cherith Brook is doing for the least of these in our midst.

Stop by. Phone us or email.

Redemptive Violence?

2009-08-28T21:19:00.004-05:00

MYTH OF REDEMPTIVE VIOLENCE
At the beginning of July a good friend of ours was shot three times. Once in the hand, once in the abdomen, and once in the face. Rumors were flying around about what happened and many thought he had died. After a good amount of prayer and a couple of phone calls we determined where he was and a few of us paid him a visit.

The first visit came a week and a half after the incident. He was heavily sedated and breathing off a machine. He had no clue we were there. A couple of our friends who knew him from the streets along with a few of us Catholic Workers stood there amazed that he was still alive after sustaining the injuries he did. After talking with the doctor about Sonny’s condition we prayed over him, and I was immediately struck by how vulnerable he was. We generally operate from the mindset that we are invincible and nothing can stop us, but I found myself staring at a man whose life was nearly lost by a few pieces of metal. This man was rendered child-like. He was completely dependent on others for his well being. He couldn’t breathe on his own, after all.

We left the hospital relieved but concerned about the possible complications. Not two weeks had passed when we paid him a second visit--this time at a rehabilitation center. When we entered room 305 we were greeted with a beautiful smile. Sonny was awake and glad to see us. We got to sit and chat with him for about an hour and he filled us in on the details of the night he was shot, the miracle of his life, and how he loved getting to eat so much ice cream.

Over the course of our conversation I was again amazed at how Sonny, a man who was seriously injured by another, held no desire to retaliate against his aggressor. He told us how useless it would be to seek revenge because it would just perpetuate an unhealthy cycle. Not only that, he was far more grateful for the “million dollar surgery” that made his face look normal and kept him alive. He had something horrific happen to him and he chose the path of love and forgiveness rather than hate and revenge. Sonny understood in a deep way the myth of redemptive violence. We have much to learn from this man.

Catholic Workers after the Blackwater retreat

BLACKWATER UPDATE
Recently I wrote about a corporation known as Blackwater. It is one of many transnational corporations who train and deploy a privatized army that will do everything from police work to frontline battle. Blackwater specifically now has over 20,000 soldiers and its own air force. At a Catholic Worker retreat recently, we acted against this type of corporation. Blackwater (now known as Xe) makes huge profits from government contracts for Iraq, Afganistan, and Katrina and then use that money to finance the very candidates who issued the contract to them in the first place. This fact alone places them in a situation where they have every incentive to ensure continued violence and conflict because peace would bring about bankruptcy for them. Beyond that, Blackwater also has lawsuits pending against them for the illegal smuggling of weapons into Iraq, illegal possession of firearms, murder of innocent Iraqi civilians, and tax evasion.

If that wasn’t a long enough list for you, there was a news story recently that takes things up a notch. The owner, Erik Prince, is now being investigated for playing a role in the murder of individuals cooperating with federal authorities investigating the company. Two employees, an ex-marine and a member of management, recently made these allegations in a sworn statement. You can read more about it on-line.

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20090817/scahill

UPCOMING EVENTS
DEATH PENALTY: EYE FOR AN EYE?
Our guest speaker, Darryl Burton, will lead a discussion on this issue. In September 2008, Darryl was released from 24 years of captivity after a judge ruled that his 1984 murder trial was constitutionally flawed. He hopes his case will convince the public that this country is jailing innocent people. Please come and hear Daryl’s compelling story.

HEALTH CARE: A HUMAN RIGHT?
Mona Shaw, of the Des Moines Catholic Worker, will lead us in a discussion about health care. We will look at the current state of our nation’s health care system and explore possible ways forward. We will also explore how our faith perspective speaks to this highly emotional topic.

FESTIVAL OF SHELTERS
Just as our Jewish brothers and sisters do, we will be celebrating the many ways God provides shelter for those oppressed in our city. Come and participate as we listen to testimonials of those whom God has provided much needed shelter, and then experience God’s provision yourself as groups will go out for 24 hours and see how God provides. Our time will conclude with dinner fellowship and stories.

A Walk, A Protest, A Birthday, & A Death

2009-06-08T13:49:00.008-05:00

JUNE/JULY 09 NEWSLETTER

“Jesus, the Blessed One, is poor. The poverty of Jesus is much more than an economic or social poverty. Jesus is poor because he freely chose powerlessness over power, vulnerability over defensiveness, dependency over self-sufficiency. As the great "Song of Christ" so beautifully expresses: "He ... did not count equality with God something to be grasped. But he emptied himself, ... becoming as human beings are" (Philippians 2:6-7). This is the poverty of spirit that Jesus chose to live. Jesus calls us who are blessed as he is to live our lives with that same poverty.”
--Henri Nouwen

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned (and am still learning) over the last six months can be summed up in Nouwen’s quote. As I’ve embarked on this life at the Cherith Brook Catholic Worker I’ve experienced many things that have challenged and stretched me in ways I never thought possible. Below are some prayerful reflections on a few things we’ve been up to at Cherith Brook.

STATIONS OF THE CROSS
On Holy Friday, about 100 of us walked on the downtown streets of Kansas City to reflect on the suffering of Christ as he carried his cross. There was one twist though; every station represented a way in which the “least of these” were suffering in our midst. I had the privilege of leading a station on behalf of our community in front of an organization called Hope/Faith Ministries. Like Hope/Faith, Cherith Brook acts as Simon did when he carried Jesus’ cross for a time. We try to be burden sharers, a relief to those who have carried a heavy load for some time.

This connection with Jesus and Simon was especially moving to me as it raised my awareness of how Jesus, like many I see daily, experienced the feelings of helplessness and loneliness during an intense moment of crisis. What is so remarkable is that Simon, like Cherith Brook, was compelled to act. He saw Jesus in struggle and couldn’t help but come alongside and offer some relief. At Cherith Brook we deeply believe in this kind of dependence, where we “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”

Reflecting in front of a deportation court

A prayer: May we learn to share in the joys and struggles of our neighbor and the poor.

PROTESTS, VIGILS, CREATIVITY
These past few months have brought with it things I’ve never before done. While on retreat recently, I attended a vigil being held at a deportation prison in Amsterdam. Here they housed illegal immigrants until they could be deported. It was a moving ceremony as we mourned those who died in a fire that happened at the prison a year prior, offered prayers that our friends behind the fences and bars would be treated like humans, and asked that we would learn once more what it means to welcome the stranger as the Israelites did with people like Rahab.

A flower hangs on these bars to show the illegal immigrants that someone cares for them

On another retreat recently, our community met up with many other Catholic Worker Houses to play together, eat together, worship together, and learn together. At the end of these retreats there is generally some sort of nonviolent action planned so we can physically stand in the way of whatever injustice we agree to address. It is a way for us to put feet to huge evils that in many cases paralyze us.

On this particular trip we spent the weekend learning about the privatization of our military and police force and what effect it has on the poor both here and abroad. After a weekend of prayer and reflection, we decided to act on behalf of those living in war-torn areas as well as those living in neighborhoods like the Historic Northeast. We decided to stand up against corporations that have a profit motive for continued war and conflict, against corporations that can’t be held accountable for their actions in any US or international court of law, against corporations that have massive human rights violations on their hands.

One hundred of us gathered at a large field that the Blackwater corporation devoted to war and violence in order to reclaim it for things that are life giving--hospitals, schools, gardens, and playgrounds. In the process of this nonviolent action, some people ended up getting arrested for standing up for peace and justice--the very thing Jesus calls us to. I know that last sentence may have freaked you out, but let’s remember that Jesus’ disciples (and Jesus himself) spent plenty of time in prison for being about the kingdom of God. Jesus and his followers were looked upon as social agitators because they were spreading a movement that wasn’t violent like the zealots but still did not fear the Roman sword. Jesus and his followers simply lived into the reality of God’s kingdom being at hand--where people would study war no more, where there would be no Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free, where there would be no more pain or suffering. Basically, they took the greatest command--to love God and others--and went out to loosen the chains of injustice, always inviting people into the loving arms of Christ and welcoming people into the family--the church. This kind of movement upset the Roman empire because the Christians were breaking unjust laws and were proclaiming Jesus as Lord instead of Caesar.

Catholic Workers from all over the midwest

I was one of those arrested, and it’s not something I say as a way to boast. I say it in order to bring to our attention the fact that we live in a world where people are too busy with life to ever stand up for something. In fact, many times we even look down upon those who sacrifice their time to stand in solidarity with the hurting, shouting things like, “Get a real job,” as we whiz by in our cars. I’m not upset that people have shouted these things at me but it does sadden me that this is the accepted norm. As Christians, shouldn’t everything be flipped around? Shouldn’t we be the ones willing to make time to love those who are hurting? Shouldn’t we be the ones willing to suffer alongside those who are tossed aside and neglected? Shouldn’t the question we ask be, “Why are you too busy to stand up and sacrifice for something bigger than yourself?” I think that it’s the world that has truly gone mad when people become so wrapped up in busyness that we lose the eye to see the marginalized and broken, the poor and neglected, the widow and the orphan, the elderly and forgotten. After all, what is more important? Who is it we are called to serve? Money or people? We can only serve one master, so the question now is who will we serve? I pray that both you and I serve God instead of profit, as money vies for our attention and time.

A prayer: May we gain the courage to stand up against injustice as Jesus did while simultaneously living out the change we wish to see in the world.

CATHOLIC WORKER BIRTHDAY
This past May Day, Cherith Brook got together with the Holy Family Catholic Worker to celebrate the 75th birthday of the Catholic Worker Movement. It was a beautiful night filled with lots of great people, yummy popcorn, beautiful art, and an incredible talent show. As I sat and took in all the songs, poems, raps, and magic tricks I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. I had never been to such a sweet gathering where so many different people with so many different stories and backgrounds came together to offer their gifts to the community. It was refreshing to see everyone hoot and holler after each person finished their act, without critique.

We’ve become so accustomed to the American Idol way of critiquing and ranking people according to their abilities that we have lost the beauty in simply accepting and loving what people bring to the table simply because it’s them bringing it. I was unbelievably grateful by the end of the night because I know I got a glimpse of what it would look like if everyone was free to be uniquely them, as God intended. I got to see what it would look like if we treated others as brothers and sisters, not competition to knock over in order to get ahead.

Cherith Brook played some old labor songs for the talent show

A prayer: May we slow down more in order to enjoy another’s company and appreciate the beautiful gifts they have to offer, without critique.

DEATH & LIFE
There are some people we meet in life that have a profound impact on us. One such man who was a frequent guest at our house was Wayne Walker. I say “was” because he recently died and is now at rest. A few months ago Wayne was living with us and on one particular night he was having some heart trouble. Our community had just finished with our Thursday night meal and was sitting down to watch a movie as his knock at the door came. Jodi and myself drove him to the hospital that night and there we encountered something really special. We laughed lots that night, but at one point in the conversation he broke down and started weeping. He said that he was so thankful for us to be there with him in the hospital because he didn’t want to die alone. He then went on to say that he was thankful for us to be there because he couldn’t remember the last time his family had done such a thing for him. He told us that he loved us like his own family.

That night stuck with me. As the months wore on we’d see Wayne every now and again, and he would usually drop by in his ice cream truck. We would purchase some popsicles and chat with him for awhile. About a month ago Wayne fell down some steps and died outside and alone. It devastated me given the conversation we had that night at the hospital. Every time I hear an ice cream truck now I think of Wayne, and most times I’ll pause to say a little prayer.

I tell this story because life is hard for many in our neighborhood. There is a lot of violence that happens here, and even though Wayne’s story may or may not have involved foul play, it made me realize once more why all of creation groans for God’s peaceable kingdom to be established once and for all. These types of stories remind me of how trivial and meaningless violence is. There are many in our neighborhood (and many countries all over the world) who quarrel over resources and property and dominance. Our God is a God of enough, a God of peace, a God of Love. When we really put things into perspective, as death generally does for us, suddenly the meaningless bickering is exposed for what it is--complete folly. Jesus had a good handle on what needed to be the guiding principle of his followers who were to work towards the kingdom of God, and that principle was love. Pure, sacrificial, unconditional love. If we don’t have that, we have nothing. We just perpetuate the violence, the hate, and the wars. What we need is the entire body of Christ to practice living out the reality of the Lord’s Prayer. From forgiveness to dependence on God for our DAILY bread, this world desperately needs a people who are ready to live out a different way--the way of Jesus. Let’s encourage one another towards that end.

A prayer: May we be a people of peace, a people of love, and may we constantly profess Jesus’ vision for the world and his children.

IN CLOSING
I share all of these stories to show the possibility (and beauty) of living the life of poverty Jesus called us to. It is not something reserved for people like Mother Teresa, it is a call for all of God’s children. When we practice dependency, vulnerability, generosity, and solidarity our lives change. We read the Scriptures differently; we see things differently; we love differently. The life at Cherith Brook is just one attempt to live into the poverty of Jesus, but it by no means is the only way. My prayer is that we will all live lives marked by the poverty of Jesus because it will lead to true freedom, true love, and true fulfillment...and you’ll have some good stories to tell. Peace be with you.

The Power of Presence

2009-02-23T23:42:00.001-06:00

FEBRUARY/MARCH NEWSLETTER 09

I have had some pretty interesting conversations lately. Ever since I moved into the Cherith Brook catholic Worker House, there have been a whole slew of people asking me questions about what and why it is we do what we do. One such conversation caused me to reflect a great deal.

There are many ministries that do great work in town. Some assist with refugee resettlement, some provide emergency shelter, some help with job placement and housing, and some help people break free from different addictions that enslave. All of these programs are great, but none can claim that their work is complete or perfect. There will still be people who slip through the cracks, people who give up or blow up, and people who don’t quite fit the mold. Cherith Brook exists for these people.

What we do at Cherith Brook is both simple and profound. Simple in the sense that we do very simple things to help restore dignity to those who have been marginalized--through a hot shower, a shared meal, clean clothes, and life giving words. What makes this work profound is experiencing how God uses these simple acts to bring about surprising change that brings us both closer to him and closer to one another. There is no real elaborate formula we follow in the work we do. Everything has been birthed out of a spirit of listening and acting. Whenever a few people started coming by and asking for showers, we happily agreed. After these people kept coming by and then more and more started showing up, we worked to create some space to accommodate our friends from the streets. We live in this way in order to better meet the needs of those who have been tossed aside and deemed worthless.

I hear so many people ask me what else we do beyond our hospitality and works of mercy--implying that what we do does not better people in the long run. Every time I hear that question it makes me wonder how we qualify what is successful and what is not. Are we really so focused on numbers that we lose sight of what’s right in front of us? Throughout the gospels we see Jesus meeting people in very ordinary ways. Whether it be over a shared meal, on the road, or at a well, Jesus met people where they were at. Not only that, but he also treated them with love, dignity and compassion. He listened, interacted, and transformed the people he encountered. He offered an invitation to join his family, and many accepted that invitation.

At Cherith Brook we try to remember to be present to every person that we interact with. We try to treat everyone who knocks as though they were Jesus coming to our door. It is crucial we do so, or we may do as Martha did in Luke 10, who was busy running around instead of sitting and listening to Jesus. Mary chose to be present while Martha was wrapped up in programming and entertaining.

One thing that has struck me since arriving at Cherith Brook is how profoundly important it is to have a place to call home and a people to call family. There have been a number of times I have heard people call this place their home, their family, or their church. Sometimes they say it after a shower and sometimes they say it through tears in a hospital room. This would not have happened without a genuine desire (and pursuit) to know and be known by each person. When we choose to love people as Jesus loved, people begin to feel like they belong; like they matter. Once people have this as their foundation it is much easier to live into their identity and calling as a child of God.

I can’t help but think of people like Mike, who was once homeless but is now living with us and seeking employment. People like Marvin, who has decided to end his drug addiction and is now in therapy to regain control of the right side of his body after having suffered a stroke. People like Cindy, who married and lost a husband all in the scope of one month (and was thankful for the time she was able to spend with him). Yes, these people have truly taught me the power of presence, and what it means to be a part of God’s beautiful family.

Let’s not underestimate the power of God as he redeems and renews people through simple things like a shower, a meal, and some good conversation.

Kingdom Living

2008-12-27T11:39:00.008-06:00

JANUARY 09 NEWSLETTER

“It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view. The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying that the kingdom always lies beyond us. No statement says all that could be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection. No pastoral visit brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the church’s mission. No set of goals and objectives includes everything. This is what we are about. We plant seeds that will one day grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities. We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest. We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker. We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs. We are prophets of a future not our own. Amen.”
~Archbishop Oscar Romero

This prayer is one I spent some time reflecting on today, and I think it really articulates how we as the church are to posture ourselves as we live and work alongside the Master Builder. The kingdom Romero is talking about is the kingdom Jesus describes throughout the gospels. Jesus gives some pretty tangible things for us to enact as the church in order to live into the new reality that exists because of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. The church in Acts is good evidence of a community whose lives were wholly transformed by the life of Jesus and the kingdom he preached was “at hand.” These people were marked by a few different characteristics, but the one I want to focus in on is how they were incredibly generous, making sure there were no needy persons among them.

This is a principle we practice at Cherith Brook. If we have two coats, we give one away. We are always looking for ways to deepen our commitment to one another and one way we are doing so is through the practice of Jubilee, or the redistribution of resources. Our community shares all things in common. Meaning, if we make money, it is not our own but the community’s. As a community we share so that no one is needy among us. Whether it be giving out winter coats or offering our many guests places to stay so they don’t have to battle the cold, we do so because our God is a God of enough. There is a great quote by Ghandi, and it goes like this: “There is enough for everyone’s need, not everyone’s greed.” This rings so true when you can look around and see houses with extra rooms while people are sleeping on the streets. When you can see restaurants throwing out unused food while people are starving. This is a great injustice, and it is incredible and humbling to know that God chooses to use us hurt and broken people as we offer what little we have by welcoming the hurt and broken into our lives and homes. What is crazy is that when we do these things and let our lives become intertwined with others, we realize just how much we need and learn from them.

At Cherith Brook many people come in battling addictions (i.e. safety/security, drugs, money, alcohol) but all of us leave feeling a little more dignified, encouraged, and whole. All our friends from the streets as well as we who live at the Cherith Brook house are ALL learning what it looks like to live like the family God calls his church to be—a sanctuary, a place of peace, a light in the darkness, a community that does not look away when someone is in need. We share and look to one another as brothers and sisters, sons and daughters of our common Father—God.

Already in 2 months I’ve seen people come and go out of rehab, some still hanging on while others have fallen. I’ve experienced frustration and sadness when people want help and then use the gifts we offer to further their addictions. But then I think of the addictions I battle and realize that I am no different. And this is the beautiful thing. I am being liberated from my own addictions while our guests are experiencing the same.

This family—although flawed and dysfunctional at times—really allows people to come, rest, and leave changed. Seeds are being planted in us and our friends, and I am becoming increasingly amazed at the enormous effect a community devoted to living out God’s Way has on people who encounter it. This place truly is a place where, as one of the founders of the Catholic Worker movement said, “it is easier for people to be good.”

LOGISTICS

Hopefully this will be the last time I need to write about all of this financial mumbo jumbo.

If you wish to give to our little community at Cherith Brook, there are two ways that can happen. First, by check. Simply make the checks payable to Nick Pickrell and mail to the address below:

Nick Pickrell
3308 E 12th St
Kansas City, MO 64127

Second, if you prefer online giving, then simply visit my blog at www.nickinaction.com. Next, click on the big donate button located on the right side of the page. From there, enter in the amount you wish to give for this month and either sign in using your paypal account info or just click the “continue” link to finish the transaction.

If you have any questions about this, feel free to email me at nickpick00@gmail.com. I’d love to walk you through this if you would like. Have a merry Christmas!

To learn more about Cherith Brook, go to: http://cherithbrookkc.blogspot.com

My Resignation

2008-12-26T11:06:00.000-06:00

Over the past few months I've grown more and more weary of many things I've grown up being surrounded by. After a few certain events transpired today I have decided to take action. I hereby am officially resigning from the following things.

I am officially resigning from hate. Relationships gone awry, people killing people, and people practicing domination through that double edged sword known as the tongue. These are the things that surround us. We live and practice these things and these things are no good. In the beginning, God chose to make man and woman in God's image. That means we ALL bear that image (regardless of whether or not we've coming running into Jesus' arms). By destroying one another, whether it be through verbal or physical means, we are severely tainting that image. In turn it has tarnished our image of God. If we were all to encourage, support, live, laugh, cry, and lay down our lives for one another just think of how much more clear our picture of God would be. What is even more beautiful is that God gives us glimpses of what it would look like if/when we all practice that profound sacrificial love Jesus displayed for us. In God's kingdom war will be studied no more, poverty will be eliminated, the tears and pain of this present life will be wiped away, and we will live together as brothers and sisters--no one dominating another. Instead, we will all submit to one another readily and will be participants in the sharing of the most profound love imaginable...the love of a good God who is overjoyed that his children have finally come home.

I am officially resigning from consumption (which has become synonymous with the american dream). I have begun to see that our collective pursuit of "more" has taken its toll on our world. Greed has taken over. Goods are becoming cheaper, more workers are being exploited, more of the earth is being raped of resources, more is being hoarded, more are going to bed starving, more is being thrown away, and more is being dumped in the poor's backyard. No longer are we content with the natural beauty of the world as our television, we want the latest and greatest gadget which steal us away from the things that have lasting beauty--God's good creation. We are meant to be together for real, not just online. We are meant to be alone from time to time, not always within a cell phone's reach. We are meant be irrevocably linked to the least of these, not leaving empty rooms while others sleep on the streets. We are meant to be present to the moment we find ourselves in, not thinking two appointments ahead. What we really need is to get back to the practice of contentment and simple joy. Play ball with someone, draw on sidewalks, jump rope, hug your parents, climb trees, and swim in lakes. Eat as a family and cherish the moments you get to spend with them, then thank God for the time you were able to spend with them after they have passed on. Be at peace and then exhume it to all you meet.

I am officially resigning from my own pursuits. Too long have i bought into the idea that i need to get ahead in this world. It stands contrary to everything Jesus lived. Growing up in a culture that promotes overtime, busyness, and individualism (do this and rise above your neighbor) has taken its toll on me. The allure of money and fame is strong, but the cost required to achieve those is great. Relationships move from genuine to strategic, good intentions turn into manipulation, and contentment gives way to an unquenchable drive. I always keep coming back to Jesus, who did not consider equality with God something to grasped, and so humbled himself and became a servant. He served and God exalted him. He brought many different people together and left behind an incredible family that is inclusive--crossing socioeconomic, ethnic, and gender lines. I have felt led little by little towards living life of solidarity with the poor because there is a unique opportunity to experience God in that place. God's heart throughout the scripture has been with the poor and oppressed and if our salvation is to be worked out together, then we get the privilege of being liberated together as well--from addiction, oppression, and poverty.

I am officially resigning from intellectualism. The pursuit of knowledge and truth is healthy, but can be easily perverted. Too quickly debates become heated. Too quickly we pounce on one another in an effort to prove we are right. Too quickly we assemble to discuss lofty concepts without any intent of action. History has proven that the privileged class in any given society usually ends up hoarding knowledge over those who are oppressed. People end up getting abused and exploited, usually without any means of defending themselves. Instead of hoarding, why not share ALL we have--possessions, knowledge, and time--with one another. After all, love holds all the commandments together...and how loving is it to speak down to people or pass laws that end up hurting the hungry, the homeless, or the immigrant?

***

With all of that taken care of now, here is a brief list of what i'd like to define my life.

-to be someone who is present to each person he meets
-to be someone who treats each relationship and moment as a cherished gift from God
-to be someone who speaks life and allows it to be spoken to me
-to be someone who is devoted to the kind of family God talks about in Gal. 3:28
-to be someone who is devoted to tending to God's creation
-to be someone who is deeply connected with the poor and oppressed
-to be someone who LIVES (fully) and does this or that (emphasis on LIVES)

The unfortunate thing is that I am a forgetful person. I get angry with people. I get caught up in the busyness of life. I question this calling God has put on me. I have insecurities. So in order to continue down this long road that leads to life I desperately need encouragement. We all do. It truly is a difficult thing to put our collective humanity before the individual. It is much easier to veg out on the sofa and watch what we want to watch, eat what we want to eat, and do what we want to do. The harder and more rewarding thing is to get outside and learn to "love those our instincts say reject."

Gold Star

2008-11-12T11:42:00.008-06:00

NOVEMBER 08 NEWSLETTER

I am now a proud resident of Cherith Brook. This has been a rough transition for me for a number of reasons, but every time I have felt overwhelmed or anxious God has intervened and gave me some incredible affirmation that I’m taking the right steps.

Since the move I have experienced a lot. Two days a week I get the privilege of welcoming guests from the street into our house for a hot shower, a warm meal, and a change of clothes. Once a week we open our house to guests for a family-style dinner. Three times a week our community gathers to pray. We all cook, serve, pray, and play together. It really is a remarkable thing. It’s something I wish I could put words to, and I am beginning to understand why Jesus always told his followers to just come and see—nothing else does it justice.

Last week during a time of reflection, one of the community members mentioned a quote that really struck me:

“If you believe you have come here to help, you are wasting your time. If you believe your liberation is bound up with mine, let us work together.”

Sharon and I serving soup at the morning showers. She was the chef.

Wow. So much of my life I have viewed the poor and marginalized as being “broken” and viewed myself as “having it all together.” This quote turns that mindset on its head. I didn’t even realize I had been doing such a thing.. Here is a quick story that illustrates this point well.

There were two men whom I met since arriving at Cherith Brook. They asked to come to church with my friend and I so we all went. While in the car, one of the men—David—mentioned that we were going to get gold stars that day for bringing them to church. It was a funny statement and we all had a good laugh about it, but after the service was underway and my mind started to wander I kept coming back to that comment.

What I hadn’t realized until then is that I really did want the “gold star.” It was humbling to realize this. As my friend and I sat beside these two men I realized that I had a deep down desire for people to see me while at church with a couple of men who were down on their luck. I wanted people to ask me the next week who it was we had brought to church so I could tell them that they were a couple of homeless (or close to it) people we had met after having moved into Cherith Brook. I was wanting to be elevated to a mythical “super-Christian” status. This realization was a huge wake up call for me.

People were never meant to be commodities for us to use to our advantage. The fact that I even thought those kinds of thoughts made me aware that I too, am a very broken individual. David unknowingly began to liberate me by exposing my true heart. In this instance I needed David as much, if not more so, than he needed me.

You see, this quote really displays the nature of God’s kingdom. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We are all brothers and sisters under Christ. We are meant to be ruled by God and God alone. No longer are we to rule over each other but instead work to mutually submit to one another in love. That means that these people who I get to see on a daily basis are not my “homeless friends,” they are my friends. Period. They are my brothers and sisters. They are children of the living God—like me...and you.

I love the line in Matthew where Jesus says “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” I think part of why they are blessed is because they have been tossed aside by society. The tenderness and brokenness that come with relying on God for daily bread, water, and shelter prevents one from getting caught up in the kinds of popularity contests I find myself in. I need God just as much as my friends do, but I tend to forget him more because of all the provisions surrounding me. I need my friends to teach me what it means to rely daily on God. I thank David for teaching me how to be more like Christ.

A community meal at Cherith Brook

LOGISTICS

In order to be more transparent in what I am doing with my finances, I wanted to share with you briefly where your support is going, as well as how you can continue giving. Here it goes!

As of this writing I have $1,200 worth of monthly pledged support.
$130 per month goes to health insurance
$250 per month goes into savings
$120 per month goes to my tithe
$250 per month goes to Cherith Brook
$450 per month goes toward things like car maintenance, food, etc.

The other changes that have come are in regards to address changes and electronic giving. You’ll notice that the address to send support to has changed. On top of that, the checks should now be made out to Nick Pickrell.

Also, in order to accommodate those who wish to give online you can give through paypal from this site (www.nickinaction.com). All you have to do is click the “donate” tab on the top-right of this page and you will be redirected to the paypal site. Once there, type in the amount you wish to give and click "continue."

Thank you SO MUCH for bearing with me through this hectic transition, and may you be blessed this day. Below is all my new contact info:

Nick Pickrell
3308 E 12th St
KCMO 64127
nickpick00@gmail.com

To learn more about Cherith Brook, go to: http://cherithbrookkc.blogspot.com.

Goodbye, Hello

2008-10-14T17:55:00.001-05:00

October 08 Newsletter

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.”

This particular passage has been on my heart more and more over the past couple of years. I feel it is incredibly relevant because I have seen a glimpse of this treasure recently.

As you know I’ve been globetrotting for the past couple of years. Trips to India, Israel, Amsterdam and Mexico have peppered my usual routine and these experiences have started something new within me. After these experiences, I found myself becoming more and more dissatisfied with pursuing the “American Dream.” However, I caught a glimpse of another way to do life—a life devoted to helping bring about God’s Kingdom. This includes things like radical generosity, peacemaking, reconciliation, and works of mercy for the poor. This radical shift in my thinking is the result of much time spent in prayer and dialogue with my fellow brothers and sisters. I’m excited to announce my future plans to you.

As of the end of October, I will be saying goodbye to my Youthfront family. This has been the toughest decision I’ve ever had to make, but I know that God is calling me elsewhere. To be honest, this decision really freaks me out. I’ve never made such a seemingly reckless step in my life. However, the place I now find myself is where God speaks the loudest. I am really having to trust in him for my provisions as I move onto something new and uncharted.

As soon as I leave Youthfront, I will be entering into an internship with a Catholic Worker house called “Cherith Brook.” This is a community devoted to living out Matthew 25:35-40 in the most literal sense. They are devoted to serving the poor, the naked, the stranger, and the prisoner. I am really excited about this opportunity to see what a community wholly devoted to Jesus looks like.

Some Cherith Brook community members.

After my three month internship is done, my friend and I will be going to observe/participate in the life of another community in either Atlanta or New York. When we return we will then be starting our own house devoted to doing works of mercy, peacemaking, and reconciliation.

As I said before, I am really excited about this new chapter in my life and will be contacting you in the very near future to answer any questions you may have regarding the adventure I am about to begin. Attached to this newsletter I have included a document my friend and I dreamed up which lays out what we are committing ourselves to once we begin our ministry this next Spring.

While I am in the middle of this transition I know that I will need much support from family and friends as this path really is uncharted. Below is a basic timeline including a few things for which I could use prayer. If you read over any of these and decide you would like to help out just let me know. You can contact me at:

nickpick00@gmail.com

* * *
TIMELINE
Oct. 31. Leave Youthfront
Nov. 1. Start internship at Cherith Brook
Jan. 1. Begin preparation for leaving to Atlanta or New York to intern at the communities there
March 1. Come home, purchase house, get a job and begin doing works of mercy in the neighborhood

* * *
NEEDS
Looking for continued financial support through this transition period
Looking for part-time work while at Cherith Brook
Looking for volunteers who would like to experience the ministry where I will be serving for three months (Volunteers can help by offering the homeless in the neighborhood breakfast, clothes, a shower, a haircut, and someone to talk to. This happens during the morning hours of Mon.— Tue. And Thu.— Fri.)

* * *

This is a very rough outline and may vary on exact dates a little. Hopefully this gives you a better idea of how I will be moving gradually into this new way of life.

I’ve never felt more alive than I do right now and it is all because of the things God has stirred up in my heart. I look forward to sharing stories and struggles with you as I move forward with this. May God also stir up your hearts to continue to love his creation right into Jesus’ arms.

The Cherith Brook house on 12th & Benton

For more info on Cherith Brook, visit:
http://cherithbrookkc.blogspot.com

PS. For your viewing pleasure, the funniest SNL sketch I have seen in quite some time. Enjoy!

An Experiment...

2008-10-14T17:49:00.002-05:00

An Experiment in Kingdom Living

We wish to create and maintain a community that is daily devoted to enacting God’s kingdom on earth. We will consistently pursue to learn and live God’s way. The rules that follow are to serve as a framework for our way of life.

Our Vision

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

To love God. To love people. To follow Jesus.

Our Commitments
• Live simply so we can be freer to love.
• Live generously so we can be freed from any attachment to material possessions and give more sacrificially.
• Live on the margins so we can love the sick and poor as Jesus did.
• Live communally because God does. Plus, we’re better off together than alone.
• Live vulnerable, joy filled lives so we can keep a child-like faith.
• Live loving both enemies and friends relentlessly as Jesus did.
• Live a life of service to one master—God.
• Live a shared life with others—sharing in their burdens and triumphs.

Our Values

Love
We will follow Mat. 25:31-40 and work to see the face of Jesus in every person we encounter. Our desire is to love all of God’s children as they are – fearfully and wonderfully made. We will actively work against any powers that try to damage that image while trying to restore and reconcile both the oppressed and the oppressor.

Margins
In order to better serve and love “the least of these” we choose to live on the fringe of society. Jesus always went to where the hurt¬ing were in order to heal, restore, and set free those in bondage.

Simplicity
We will strive to live with only what we need, not what we want. We are committed to love, which demands simplicity.

Community
Community is built through long periods of time spent together, not through “touch and go” programs. We will devote four days to the neighborhood we find ourselves in.

Listen and Imagine
We believe that the parable in Mat. 25:31-40 is meant to be lived out literally. We will identify what the greatest needs are in the neighborhood and will work diligently with the people to meet those needs through creativity. (This may include elderly care, ESL, job creation, tutoring, soup kitchen, hospital visits, hostel, etc.)

Communion
It is crucial for the community to be drinking the water that will become a spring welling up to eternal life. We are committed to the Eucharist, daily study and prayer. We will also observe specific times for Biblical and non-Biblical readings.

Our Functionality

Sabbath
Rest is necessary for all members of the community. One day a week, one week a month will be a time for silence and retreat. Members of the community will be urged to go elsewhere for their retreat so they can simply enjoy God’s company.

Generous Commonality
We agree to give sacrificially to the house out of our possessions and income (beyond our tithe). Everything that goes into the community house becomes shared property and if a situation arises we will not hesitate to give to those who are in need. A spe¬cific fund will be used to cover food and other project expenses that directly benefit the neighborhood.

We will maintain a room for rent, and whoever lives there will pay a minimal monthly fee and will receive all the money back in the end as well as the furniture. The room’s furnishings are to be provided by those people who God calls to give.

Restoration
We will inform ourselves of the injustices present in our local community and work to counter them through finding a “third way”. This may include learning how to make our own clothes or visiting other communities to learn about how they are living “off the grid”.

We will work to restore the beauty of our neglected neighborhood. This may include rehabilitating houses, picking up trash, etc.

We will plant and maintain a garden that will feed the house and neighborhood. This fosters our heart for God’s creation and further frees us from consumer culture.

Community Meals
We agree to cooking meals together in a weekly rhythm. Once a week, the community will have a shared meal with people from the neighborhood. We will ask nothing in return.

Family Connection
We will meet weekly over a meal to discuss points of business as well as to share ideas and struggles. There will also be a monthly family event for members of the community to rest and bond with one another.

Prayer Walks
We will follow Jesus’ footsteps in “weeping over Jerusalem” as we pray over our city and neighborhood. We hope this will facilitate meetings, sharing stories and prayer with our neighbors.

Transport
Cars inform individualism and negatively impact the environ¬ment. We choose to walk or ride bicycles as much as possible to allow ourselves to be interrupted by Jesus in the least of these.

Wireless
In an effort to free ourselves from things that consume us, we will not use computers in the home.

Discipleship
Jesus told his disciples to “come and see”. We believe discipleship happens best when those who want to follow Jesus participate in doing his work within the context of community. Times of study and work would help to center us around the way of Jesus and would teach us how to be his body to the world.

A Sweet Documentary...

2008-09-12T15:30:00.003-05:00

For those of you who know me well know that I've drawn lots of inspiration from a man named Shane Claiborne. I wanted to tell you all about a movie that is coming to KC for one night and is about Christians all over the country who are living in abandoned places of empire trying to be Jesus to all they encounter. It is beautiful and inspiring! Read below for the info and hopefully I'll see you there!

What: Ordinary Radicals movie

Special Guests: Director/co-founder of The Simple Way, Jamie Moffett, and author/interviewee, Zack Exley
When: Tuesday, Sept. 23rd
Where: Screenland theatres in the Crossroads
Directions: 1656 Washington Kansas City, MO 64108
Time: 7:30pm
Cost: 10 dollars

buy tickets at door or online: http://www.theordinaryradicals.com/blog/calendar
***I'd recommend buying tickets online as the theatre is expected to sell out***

sites:
www.theordinaryradicals.com
The Ordinary Radicals Trailer
Screenland Theatres
Downloadable Ordinary Radicals poster
The Ordinary Radicals Facebook Event Page

(if you'd like to help promote this screening, let me know by emailing me at npickrell@youthfront.com)

Here is the press release:

Afilm about a conspiracy of faith in the margins of empire

In the margins of the United States, there lives a revolutionary Christianity. One with a quiet disposition that seeks to do 'small things with great love,' and in so doing is breaking 21st Century stereotypes surrounding this 2000 year old faith. 'The Ordinary Radicals' is set against the modern American political and social backdrop of the next Great Awakening. Traveling across the United States on a tour to promote the book 'Jesus for President', Shane Claiborne and a rag-tag group of 'ordinary radicals' interpret Biblical history and its correlation with the current state of American politics. Sharing a relevant outlook for people with all faith perspectives, director Jamie Moffett examines this growing movement.

As Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw write in the

book, 'This is not a set of political suggestions for

the world; this is about invoking and embodying

the alternative. All of this is an invitation to join a

peculiar people- those with no king but God, who

practice jubilee economics and make the world

new. This is not the old-time religion of going to

heaven; this is about bringing heaven to the

world.'

September 08 Newsletter

2008-09-08T17:16:00.002-05:00

SOME THOUGHTS

My trip to Amsterdam over the summer turned out to be both rewarding and exhausting; both inspiring and difficult. I was forced to deal with fears I never knew I had and came home more certain than before that God is calling me to a different way of living.

This new path won’t be easy but life isn’t supposed to be that way. God always calls his people out of their comfort zones and into situations where they have to rely heavily on him for daily strength. When we obey God and take that step into the unknown, that’s where we experience all the beauty of the highs and lows of life. Deciding to step into this call has been difficult. But I have seen the byproducts of a life lived pursuing comfort and safety and I realize that I don’t want to live that way. I would rather live in a way that is challenging and full of opportunities to experience life in all its mystery.

If you have been keeping up with my newsletters you will recall one from earlier this year in which I laid out what I felt God was calling me to do. The time is quickly approaching when a couple of my close friends and I will venture into the heart of Kansas City to begin living lives of radical love, generosity and simplicity. I simply ask that you pray—and pray often—that we will be overwhelmingly drawn to where God may want us, and that God will bring those people forward with whom we are supposed to enter into this new way of life.

Next month I will lay out the plans for the new venture in life on which my friends and I will be embarking. I am very excited to show these plans to you but I also realize that I just got back from a two month trip to Amsterdam. I figured it would probably be a good idea to show you some pictures taken during my time there so enjoy! Thanks for being so good to me and helping me realize that I am never alone in the work God is doing in Kansas City and the world.

A birthday party my friends threw for me in Amsterdam

This is a piece of art we hung up in the Red Light District

In a very traditional Dutch town.

At Corrie Ten Boom's house. It was an incredibly sobering and inspiring place.

August 08 Newsletter

2008-07-18T04:56:00.003-05:00

A STORY FROM AMSTERDAM

So I met a man in Amsterdam named Kenneth…

Kenneth has been living in Amsterdam for 9 years and has had an ongoing battle with drug addiction. I first met him a couple of weeks ago at The Cleft’s soup kitchen ministry. About halfway into my shift, Kenneth walked through the door and came right up to me. I gave him some tea and then he immediately started talking about how he was fed up and just wanted to die. He talked about his drug addiction and how it was killing him.

Shortly after that I introduced him to a full-time staff member of The Cleft, Will. The two of them sat down at a table nearby and talked for a while. When the conversation ended I could tell that Will loved all that had transpired. Kenneth had decided to get help and Will set an appointment for him to go to a place where he could do just that.

Fast forward one week.

I was at The Cleft again for another time of giving food to the hungry and once again Kenneth walks in. He was in the same state of mind he was the previous week, which let Will and I know that he didn’t make it to the clinic. This time both Will and I got to sit down and encourage him in his time of suffering. He stated much of the same as he did the week prior, but this time he was ready to go get help right then. After the ministry time ended that night, it was about time for a Narcotics Anonymous meeting to begin at a place just down the road so Will gave him all the information he needed to get there. Kenneth left The Cleft, and once again, the situation now rested in God’s hands.

Fast forward one day.

Before Kenneth left for the Narcotics Anonymous meeting, Will had set up a time the day after to meet up and discuss how the day went. I wanted to be there with Will for the appointment so at 5:30pm we both sat on the front porch of The Cleft. We were expecting Kenneth to show up any minute. 5:45pm came and went. No sign of Kenneth. 5:55pm came and there was still no sign of him. A couple of minutes later, just as we were getting ready to call it a day and go our separate ways, up walks none other than Kenneth. He looked different today. He was walking with a swagger and his head was held high. After saying hello to us he sat down and began to talk all about the meeting from the night before. He showed us the literature they gave him then he showed us the phone numbers of all the guys in the group who were ready to help him if he ever got another urge. Kenneth was beaming and we couldn’t help but get caught up in his excitement. He had his first clean 24 hour period in six months and couldn’t believe it! As our time came to a close Kenneth talked of how he couldn’t wait to get to his NA meeting that night. He took off shortly after and all we can do now is pray for him.

Will and I sitting on a porch in front of The Cleft

This is not the norm for The Cleft. Appointments are made but it is common for the person to never show up. It’s also common for the people who do show up to get help for a brief amount of time and then end up right back where they started—hurting and enslaved to their addictions. People like Kenneth are huge boosts to the morale of the full-time staff here. It makes sense when you think about the majority of the people The Cleft works with and the incredible amount of patience needed to continue to love those who continually fall back into the same destructive patterns they were trying to get out of a week before. It is undeniably hard to repeatedly love someone who continues to cycle in and out of their addictions and Kenneth could just as well fall into that category. We are praying that does not happen!

Kenneth said something profound when he was sitting with Will and I on the front porch of The Cleft. He said, “You look at teams who win lots of games. They practice and practice and practice in order to play the game well. Well, this is my first day of practice so I can win a good game.” He, of course, is talking about how he is now practicing a different way so he can come close to God AND move away from his destructive addiction. After hearing this, I couldn’t help but think of how we could all probably benefit from a 12-step program. I know I have some addictions that keep me from maintaining a healthy life, but they are harder to see so they go unnoticed for longer and are given time to grow and grow and grow. An addiction is an addiction, and Kenneth didn’t realize it but he ministered to me in that moment sitting on the porch. Let’s all take Kenneth’s quote to heart and begin to shed the old way of practicing and adopt a new practice routine so we can win the good game…after all, God came to give hope to the hopeless and set the captives free.

July 08 Newsletter

2008-07-04T08:32:00.003-05:00

HERE I AM

I have now been in Amsterdam for about 2 weeks and already a lot has happened. I have gotten lost in the city about 1,346 times, met a lot of great people, misplaced my passport, and have interacted with many people on the streets of Amsterdam. There has been a lot of good and bad to this trip already and I am learning through it all.

The thing that has taken me by surprise this trip is the fear I never knew I had. I’ve been to a few different places over the years and have always adjusted relatively well, but for whatever reason this time my body wanted to put itself in a state of paralysis. I was in a new land and didn’t know the city or the people so I began to become overwhelmed. For the first couple of days it was really tough to even leave my room. It took every last ounce of energy in me to move past the fear of the unknown and get outside in order to engage the city on my own. Thankfully, after wrestling past this feeling a few times I have now learned the lay of the land and have met lots of great people.

The people who work at the Cleft.

This is what is directly behind the Cleft building.

This initial experience also repeated itself once I began my work with the Cleft, a ministry that works with people on the streets of the Red Light District. There are a number of times a week where we go onto the streets to talk to people about life and God. On my first trip out onto the streets I immediately felt that crippling fear again. There were loads of questions that came flying to the forefront of my mind.

“What if people question me and I don’t have an answer?”
“What if the person is hostile towards me?”
“How would I recover if I had an unbelievably frustrating time?”

I was encountering fear again. Fear of the unknown; fear of not being liked or appreciated; fear of being rejected. Thankfully, God brought some verses to mind that helped me to snap out of the funk I was in: I Peter 3:13-17 & I John 4:18. I really love these verses because they release me. I forget on many occasions that since I now believe in Jesus I am working to help bring God’s Kingdom to earth. That should change my mindset. Instead of working hard to maintain a comfortable life now, I need to devote my time to the things Jesus is about. This will surely bring about hardship in the present but is also the most beautiful and freeing way to live. To be devoted to others, to weep with those who weep, to rejoice with those who rejoice, to speak life into others and help point them towards the life-giving Jesus, these are the things that make life beautiful and worthwhile. Remembering these things help to cast out that fear I so often feel when it comes to being open and vulnerable about sharing my life and faith with people.

Over the next month I will continue to engage in ministry with the Cleft as well as with a local church in town called Zolder. Please be in prayer that the fear I have felt this trip will be non-existent in the coming weeks as I know it will not always be easy to work on the streets of Amsterdam. There will be many conversations I will have with people that don’t have a good resolution. There will even be people who flat out don’t want to have anything to do with me. This month will have some frustrating times as well as some really sweet times. Pray that through all of it I continue to remember the unending love God has for me and for all of his children. Pray also for the people I have met already. Kenneth, Eddie, Yanni, and Urich are broken people who are searching for something more. Pray that they will come to know and love Jesus. I love that we already know that God wins out in the end, so may that give us hope as we go about our days.

Amsterdam Info!

2008-06-15T10:05:00.004-05:00

PLEASE READ!!!! UPDATED ADDRESS!!!!!

Hey you all. I just wanted to write and let you all know how to reach me while I'm in Amsterdam...so here it goes!

Nick Pickrell
Youth With A Mission
Kadijksplein 18
1018 AC Amsterdam
The Netherlands

Tel. +31-20-5302100
Fax. +31-20-5302101

MY OWN CELL PHONE!!!
0031 6 47 831 191

Other than that, I will try to check my email every so often so send all that lovely electronic mail to nickpick00@gmail.com. Have a lovely summer!

June 08 Newsletter

2008-06-01T16:09:00.001-05:00

TRUST

Camp is well underway, the first batch of students show up this week, and there is still so much to do.

My main task for camp this year has been to train people in a number of different positions, which has proved to be quite challenging. The interesting thing though is that the difficulty hasn’t actually come from teaching people all the details of their job—that has been the easy part. The problem for me has been my inability to pass the torch and let another person make the position theirs. This realization caused me to reflect and ultimately ended up pointing to some deeper issues.

When Jesus roamed the earth He talked a lot about trusting him. He once told the disciples to go out without provisions and told them to trust him for their needs. Another time Jesus talked about how God takes care of the lilies and the sparrows and then He pointed out how much more God loves us—the very creatures He chose to make in his own image. There is that theme again—trust. We are all called to trust God with everything and that is an unbelievably tough thing to do sometimes. I have always said that I trust God with my whole heart but because of the recent difficulties I’ve had, it has made me wonder how much I am really willing to trust God.

I guess I will find out that answer soon enough. With the upcoming trip to Amsterdam and the experiment in Kingdom living happening in the fall I am putting myself in a place where I will either have to trust God more or go insane because of all the moving pieces in my life right now. As I look ahead at the last 2 weeks before I leave and see the different things that still need to happen, it is crucial that I trust God in all things. After all, camp will still go on without me and God will bless those who are working diligently to learn their new roles. I need to simply let go of my worries and rest in the knowledge that God will take care of everything.

Our God is a good provider and He means it when He says that we need to focus on the day at hand. God has got everything under control and He wants nothing more than for us to rest in his arms and call others to the same.

Letting things go, passing the torch off to others, and letting God be God are crucial lessons for us to learn. As the amount of responsibilities we take on increase it becomes harder and harder to keep on letting God be in control. It is a beautiful thing whenever we do though because we will experience an immense peace and calm because we are living in the freedom God freely gives when his children trust him as a child trusts his father.

May 08 Newsletter

2008-05-13T17:01:00.004-05:00

OVERWHELMED

This was a busy month. The months of April and May are always the craziest because camp is right around the corner and there is a whole lot that needs to be done. I’m beginning to feel that pressure but it has been a bit more amplified this year. On top of fulfilling my responsibilities at Youthfront, I am also moving out of the house I’m currently living in while getting ready to leave for Amsterdam.

Yikes!

Because of all of these moving parts it has been increasingly hard to remain in the present. I often find myself looking toward what’s ahead in the summer and beyond. This is not a healthy practice whatsoever. It is good to plan things out but it is also good to hold lightly to such things as our plans have the tendency to change seemingly out of nowhere. I really need to focus on camp and not just breeze by it because my tendency is to think about Amsterdam and the ministry I will get to partner with when I’m there.

Jesus was incredible at living in the present. There were many times when Jesus was on a journey but was quick to make time for anybody who needed him. He got sidetracked, detoured and held up. If wasn’t for Jesus’ awareness of people in need and his willingness to be interrupted, we wouldn’t have half of the miracles that are now recorded in the gospels.

Jesus couldn’t do this without being wholly devoted to his Father. It was through this intimate bond that Jesus was able to truly see people as God sees them—as beautiful children who were fearfully and wonderfully made. This reality caused Jesus to weep over Jerusalem and to work towards restoring all of creation back to a right relationship with its Father. Jesus’ heart was on display for the 33 years He walked on the earth, and it is on display even now! My desire for all of us is to begin to live in the present moment no matter the distraction or hardship.

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
-Mat. 6:26-27

“Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”
-Mat. 25:34-36

Know that I am praying for you. Please pray for me as I try to be present to the Summer Staff and campers while I am with them in the coming weeks.

April 08 Newsletter

2008-04-14T17:57:00.005-05:00

AND MY MIND WANDERS

As we loaded up the van and began heading down to Croc, Mexico to visit the community Youthfront is involved with, we didn’t know what to expect. It had been two years since our last visit and this trip was to be much different. We weren’t going down there to build houses, we weren’t going down there to help run the after school program, we were there to do camp for the children of Croc.

The whole operation was pretty impressive. We had to translate all of the curriculum for the services, figure out how to pull off different large group games in Spanish, and plan out all sorts of logistical things. In the end, it all came together. It was a huge blessing for all of us who went to see the Youthfront Mexico staff in their element. They really have something special going on in Croc, Mexico and it was great to be a part of that community again. It’s obvious that God’s hand is on that place.

There were plenty of things that I loved about this particular trip—the kids of Croc, the staff interaction, the food—but there was one specific event that had a profound impact on me. Each night, everyone gathered for a time of worship and learning. On this particular night we were talking about God’s story—starting from Creation and going through Christ’s expected return. We talked about how God created us in his image, and not only that, but how God also gave us the ability to create. After having talked about this some we distributed clay to all the kids and told them to sculpt something while remembering that God not only created them in his image but also gave them the incredible ability to be creative. At first I was a skeptic of the whole thing. I thought to myself how this kind of thing may work in Mexico, but would never work in the US. Immediately after having thought this I realized just how cynical that statement was. As I looked around I noticed all of these students sculpting incredible looking things. There were ninja turtles, cobras, and manger scenes. These kids were all engaged and interacting with the story just presented to them, and there I was critiquing whether or not it was even working!

Something dawned on me shortly after thinking these things. We are all called to have a child-like faith. This would include things like having total dependence on our Father, incredible faith in the unseen, and a pure, consuming joy. What a tall order! With all of the pain, loss, lies and insults that get hurled at us it is incredibly difficult just to maintain these traits all the way through the public school system, let alone continuing to be joyful for the remaining 40+ years of your life.

As we get older, we begin to shut down certain parts of ourselves because it is not looked upon favorably by our peers, society, or family. These individual encounters add up over time and can bring us to the point of paralysis. If someone gets made fun of repeatedly for stumbling over their words, that person will naturally want to shut down and stop talking altogether out of fear they may get hurt again. All of us have these types of fears in us, and that fear can bottle up the child-like joy we are all called to share.

As I looked around and saw all these students molding and creating masterful pieces of art, it all seemed to make sense to me. We need to break free from these fears that can be so crippling in order to live out that child-like faith, and what better way to battle against the cynicism and “cool” by doing something as simple as molding clay. The students at camp were doing just that. They were reluctant at first, but by the end they were all showing off their creations to one another, laughing and smiling the whole way through.

By the end of the night I was thoroughly convinced that this was the way to go. For every harsh word a person has endured, there needs to be someone else ready to try and bring out that joy again. In a world full of so much pain and suffering, we really need to be those beacons of life, love, hope, and joy. God gives us that whenever we abide in him...so let’s dance more, laugh more, jump rope more, hula hoop more, sing more and play with clay more. When we are able to grasp the beautiful simplicity of a child-like faith, this world will be a more beautiful place—and what better way to usher in Jesus’ new kingdom than by living completely for him now through loving people out of their fears and into Jesus’ arms!

March 08 Newsletter

2008-03-14T15:44:00.003-05:00

A NEW CHAPTER

I’ve realized over the years how much I love being in control. Most everything I do revolves around this. I like having my own car so I can go where I want to go, visit with the friends I want to visit, and leave when I want to leave. I like spending my money on what I want and eating the food that I want to eat. There are so many things at my disposal that it comes as no surprise that my ability to put faith and trust in God has been affected.

This revelation has ended up launching me in a new direction. Last year I went to India to broaden my worldview, to love those who had been neglected or forgotten, and to get out of my comfort zone. All of those things happened but then something unexpected began to rise up in me. As I read about people like Mother Teresa, St. Francis of Assisi and Shane Claiborne, I was struck by their focus and devotion to God. I was also confounded by their simple obedience. When Mother Teresa was released to begin her work on the streets of India, she just walked outside and began to love and help people. She didn’t have a set plan on what she was going to do, she just walked blindly into the streets while trusting God the whole way.

Stories like Mother Teresa’s have been a huge source of inspiration for me. It gives me a modern context of what it could look like to live a life similar to Jesus’. It also challenges me to surrender my own selfish desires in order to grow closer to God and to follow in the footsteps of so many Christ-followers who came before me. This is an unbelievably daunting task though. Surrendering to God means giving control over to him, and that can be a very difficult thing to do.

I know this because I have agreed to give some of this control over to him come summertime. Ever since the India trip I have felt called to a different way of living life. The idea of living in community and being intentional about interacting with those who are on the margins of society have really been enticing to me. The more this desire grew, though, the more I realized I would have to give up. Many of my habits would have to change. I would need to be around the house more. I couldn’t hang out with as many friends. I could even lose some friends because of the people I would be around—given the difficult nature of loving the hard to love. These were really tough obstacles to get past in order to give God more of me, but as time went on I began to understand how crucial it was for me to follow God in this endeavor.

The other major worry I had before jumping into this new way of life was my vocation. Because I felt so strongly about this new venture I asked to take the summer off. This is a big deal because camp is the biggest thing YouthFront does each year. Thankfully though, after many conversations over the past couple of months, we came to a compromise. As of June 21st I will be done with my role at camp and will be on my way to Amsterdam. I am going there to see how a 25-year old community lives out the command to “love God and love others.” While I’m there I will be engaging in their community life while interacting on a regular basis with homeless people, drug addicts and other locals. The intent is to glean as much as possible from that community, as they have been doing for 25 years what I have been yearning to do for only one.

Once I return home the next big test of my faith will begin. I have talked many times about a man named Kenny. He is 62, lives in KC and is a rather unique man. Last month I wrote about how Kenny had confessed to being incredibly lonely since he had no family living anywhere near him. Upon hearing this a friend of mine and I were so moved that we decided to act. After a lot of discussion and prayer we decided that the only thing we could do was invite him to live with us. After talking with Kenny and his social worker we were given the green light to have Kenny move in with us come August. This was incredibly exciting news because it gave our house an initial core group of people and a mission.

All throughout the Gospels Jesus cared for those who were unwelcome and unloved. Together my friend and I have agreed to step into the unknown, to face our fears and to trust God as we try to love those who are strangers and outcasts in Kansas City. We don’t know exactly what will happen once we begin this endeavor but neither did the disciples when they responded to Jesus’ call to “follow me.” There are many logistical things to be worked out but we are trusting that God will provide.

In order to better grasp the way we are feeling led to live our lives, below are just a few of the ideas we are adopting as our own rule of life:

1. Realistic community. Jesus hung out with lots of people. He interacted with thousands of people but within that group He had only twelve disciples whom He shared his life with. Within that group He had three people He confided in even more than the others and within that there was John, the disciple whom Jesus loved. We recognize that we cannot share all of our lives with everyone we meet so we are agreeing to share our lives with the people who live near us regardless of their beliefs. This will require time and sacrifice but is essential to building a truly missional community.

2. A rigid routine. My friend and I have always loved the discipline of those who have lived their lives in monastic communities. Much of this probably has to do with the fact that the monastic life is very simple and routine while the American life is very chaotic and busy. In an effort to be more present to each other and to those living around us we are choosing to rebel against the busyness of life by adopting a basic schedule that will include times of work, study, prayer, silence, play, fellowship, and the breaking of bread. We yearn for balance and are developing this schedule so we can love God and others out of an overflow of the heart rather than out of a sense of duty and necessity. Jesus is the wellspring of life and if we aren’t close to that then we can’t love people well.

3. A generous community. Both within the house as well as within our community we are wanting to be radically generous. We want to have a house where people can come for relief, a good meal or a conversation. To provide for the hospitality we are wishing to readily give, we are creating a “common pool” where we will put some of our paychecks together to purchase things like food for community meals and clothing for those who are homeless and looking for employment. Beyond that we are agreeing to offer our time to those who need it most. Whether it be playing with the children or teaching a twenty year old how to read, we want to offer our time as a currency as well.

Kenny is kneeling in front. Micah and I are featured directly above him.

Those are just a few of the things that will define how we go about living our lives in the fall. To be honest, the whole thing is rather exciting to me but also frightening since it will require so much sacrifice and time. At the same time, I also know that this is exactly where God wants me to be so it helps me to give that control I so desperately crave over to my Father. Please pray for my friend Micah Waters and I as we begin looking for houses to rent or buy near Westport. Also pray that God will guide us as we further shape the rule of life that we will adhere to now as well as once we move into the house in the fall. Thank you for your continued support and I look forward to sharing more stories with you. If you would like to get more heavily involved please let me know and I can let you know what our immediate needs are. Thanks!

February 08 Newsletter

2008-02-08T10:55:00.000-06:00

THIS IS SIGNIFICANT

No more than two weeks ago my friend Micah and I found ourselves sitting across the table from a man who was trying to hold back tears. We had just finished eating some good barbecue and now this man was telling us how he had contemplated suicide over the holidays. He felt like he was alone, like no one cared about him, like no one wanted to be around him. This broke my heart.

Kenny is an interesting fellow. He is 62 years old, lives in Westport, and loves to frequent Chili’s. He laughs a lot and has an uncanny way of turning a 5 minute conversation into a 35 minute one. I first came across Kenny in the latter years of the nineteen-nineties. The band I was playing with at the time would frequent a local venue where Kenny was head of security. In fact, he was the only security. After most shows were finished the band and I would go to a downtown diner and converse into the wee hours of the morning. Many a night Kenny found himself at the table with us. We shared life, laughs and birthday cake as our friendship grew.

A few years later, the venue held secure by Kenny shut its doors, leaving my new friend with one less outlet for meeting new people. Without the regularity of rock shows my relationship with Kenny grew distant. Thankfully, some time later our paths crossed once again and we decided to go to lunch one afternoon. As we sat at Uno’s Pizzeria reminiscing about our late night hangouts Kenny posed a question to my friend Katie and I. “Do you think we could meet like this every month?”

We immediately agreed and A.W.K. was born. “Afternoons With Kenny” quickly became the ex-security guard’s place for conversation and making new friends. This month marks the two year anniversary of the monthly lunches spent with Kenny and I can honestly say that it has been eye opening. I never could have imagined how significant our time spent together would be until I got to know this man on a deeper level.

We are all called, as followers of Christ, to feed the hungry, welcome the stranger, bring good news to the poor, bind up the brokenhearted, and bring hope to the hopeless. After hearing Kenny open up about his suicidal thoughts it dawned on me that God was doing something much greater with this time than I could have ever dreamed. The seemingly insignificant times spent around the table laughing and talking about nothing were in reality giving Kenny good news, hope, and a healed heart.

Not even a year ago Kenny lost his only relative in town which left him without any family nearby. Upon hearing this a group of us called to check up on him and later that month we all met together to let him share what he was going through. We offered nothing more than a listening ear and an empathetic heart, but that kind of genuine love and support really helped Kenny be able to cope with the loss of someone so dear to him.

These kinds of stories and encounters really affirm in me the value of “doing small things with great love.” It is so simple to hang out with someone over a meal or to listen to someone when they are down. Over and over again I am confounded by the significance of the seemingly insignificant. Jesus knew two years ago that Kenny would need some friends here on earth to remind him of the fact that he is not alone—that he is a vital part of God’s family. Two years have passed and I am so thankful for getting to love Kenny right into God’s arms...through meals, laughter, and a 35 minute conversation.

Kenny and I at his birthday party last summer.

TEEN STAFF LOCK-IN

Shortly after all the Christmas turkey is eaten and the new year has been rung in, something spectacular happens here at the YouthFront Headquarters. Once a year some of my coworkers and I host what is called the Teen Staff lock-in.

The concept is fairly straight forward. We invite the Teen Staff from both camps to come and converge on one location for one night. Pizza is served, fountain drinks abound, and many games are played. It is definitely an exhausting night as it is an all-night event spanning from 9pm—6am. This night, however, was especially great.

Over the years I have taken part in many lock-ins for the Teen Staff and you could usually distinguish who had Teen Staffed at which camp. The two groups hardly ever interacted with each other. The past couple of summers, though, we have had larger and larger numbers of Teen Staff who would volunteer at both camps. We encourage this so the students understand that the camps are both there for the same purpose—to foster environments where students can experience and choose to follow God. The staff have always tried to convey unity between the camps and this year’s event shows that progress is being made.

My hope is that this trend can continue. The more interaction these students have with both camps, the more they will understand that we are all part of the greater whole. No camp is better than the other, they are both working to bring youth into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

Teen Staff belly bumping at the lock-in.

January 08 Newsletter

2008-01-18T16:29:00.000-06:00

ISRAEL SNAPSHOTS

As we walked through the busy city streets of Tiberias taking in all the sights, sounds, and smells, I was overwhelmed at the thought that we had finally made it to the Holy Land. The plane, that had just 24 hours previous taken us from the familiarity of life in the states, had dropped us in a place completely different—completely foreign. From there we took in as much as we could over the next two weeks. We visited church after church, site after site, all in search of gaining a better perspective on the life of Jesus and the culture He was immersed in.

I experienced things that blew my mind, caught me off guard, and changed me deep within. The rest of this update is going to be devoted to sharing with you different snapshots of my trip to Israel. I have much more to tell than just this but it would require me to write a short novel in order to take you through all I experienced. Have a great January!

* * *

After visiting Capernaum, where Jesus called some of His disciples and performed many miracles, we went to the Mount of the Beatitudes. This is the traditional site where people believe Jesus spoke the Sermon on the Mount (Mat. 5-7). It was unbelievably beautiful to look down onto the Sea of Galilee from where we were at. We could see all sorts of lush vegetation, and a little farther out we could see lots of different fishing boats out on the water. It was an incredible sight watching all the fishermen cast their nets near where Jesus would have called a couple of local fishermen to become fishers of men 2000 years ago. As if that wasn’t enough, Jesus then spoke one of the most inspiring and hope-filled sermons I’ve ever heard, and it all took place somewhere near where we were standing.

* * *

In Acts 25 & 26, Paul had been imprisoned for his faith by the Sanhedrin. He was being held in Jerusalem but through a series of appeals was brought to Caesarea. At one point during the story, a king named Agrippa wished to hear Paul’s case as there were questions about the legitimacy of the charges brought against him. The text then mentions that he was brought to the audience hall to make his defense. The picture featured above is that very audience hall Paul would have stood in to talk to King Agrippa. Talk about intimidating! The spot I am standing in is where King Agrippa would have sat to hear Paul defend himself. Now, instead of crumbling under the pressure and pleading for his release, Paul used this time as an opportunity to share how Jesus had changed his life forever, and how his desire was for them to come to know, follow and love Jesus in the same way he did. That passage in Acts made me think for many days after, as I desired to be so devoted to Christ that I couldn’t help but see every situation as an opportunity to show people who Jesus is.

* * *

The situation is rather tense in Jerusalem. In an attempt to keep the peace, the city itself is even broken up into four quarters. There is the Christian quarter, the Arab quarter, the Jewish quarter, and the Armenian quarter. One of the hot spots of conflict is at the site of the Wailing Wall. This wall is the western wall of what once was the Jewish Temple. Just on the other side of this wall lies a Muslim mosque called Dome of the Rock. This is a mosque built on top of the rock many Muslims believed to have been where Muhammad ascended to heaven. On the other hand, many Jewish people believe that rock is the site of the Holy of Holies, the most holy place on Earth. You can see why things would be tense here. While we were taking in the view of the Wailing Wall from a lookout point, I noticed a very large, golden menorah sitting nearby. I went up to look more closely at it and was struck by a plaque located next to it which read, “May the Temple be rebuilt speedily and in our day.” This place is a tense place indeed.

* * *

The Church of the Nativity is the traditional site where it is believed to be the actual birthplace of Jesus. You enter into the church through a very small door and from there wander down some steps where you’ll eventually end up in a cave. Once in the cave there are two different spots where people sit, meditate, and worship. One is the spot where Mary would have given birth to Jesus and the other is the manger where Jesus would have been placed. The interesting thing about this place is that scholars believe that it is likely to really be the birthplace of Jesus because of evidence of people worshipping there from the time of Christ until now. That is an old church!

* * *

This place was where we ended our journey of following in Jesus’ footsteps. We had spent the last two days visiting all the places Jesus would have been in his final days and now we sat there looking into an empty tomb. Regardless of whether or not Jesus was really buried here, it was remarkable to think that a spot like this caused Jesus’ followers to experience a whole range of emotion. It would have been a place of unbelievable grief as people thought about how this person they followed for the past three years and believed was the Son of God now lay there dead. Then, three days later those same people came to that same place only to find that their Savior was not there! He had risen from the dead! What terror, confusion, and hope people must have felt at that time. Just read the four gospel accounts and you can get a better picture of the range of emotion people displayed upon discovering an empty tomb.

* * *

Thanks for allowing me to take a pilgrimage to Israel. I am so incredibly thankful for your continued support which makes these kinds of things possible. I am blown away every time I stop to think about the growth I have experienced over the past three years on staff with YouthFront, and this trip was just another chapter in my journey. None of this would have been possible without you, so thanks.

December 07 Newsletter

2007-12-05T09:47:00.000-06:00

ISRAEL BOUND

Merry Christmas to all of you! I’ve had a pretty great year this year—traveling to India, sharing my life with 130 high school volunteers over the summer, learning new things about God and myself—and very soon I will be boarding a plane headed for Israel.

That’s right, I am officially headed to the Holy Land to see all I can see. I can’t wait to walk where Jesus walked, see what Jesus saw, and experience the very unique culture that exists in Israel. The trip will last for twelve days—December 28th to January 9th—and a small group of us from YouthFront will be traveling around to not only see many historical sites but to also begin dreaming of how to develop this kind of trip into a yearly thing we offer our camp summer staff who come and serve with us.

One of our main goals at camp is to guide, care and inspire the entire summer staff. The reason we do this is because we wholeheartedly believe in the concept of overflow. Meaning, as we continually point our summer staff to Christ for refreshment and renewal, they will in turn be better suited to guide and care for their campers in a more genuine and authentic way. This Israel trip is just another way we can help inspire the summer staff to continue in their lifelong journey with God outside of the camp setting. Plus, it just sounds great to go and see where Jesus lived his life while alongside a group of friends you just spent a large chunk of time doing ministry with.

This trip is pretty costly though. The grand total for the 12 days of Israel goodness is a whopping $2,800. As of this writing I am still about $1,200 dollars away from having enough money to make this happen. Please join me in prayer as my thoughts are focused on this upcoming trip. Pray for the people attending, pray for their finances, pray for safety, pray for transformation, and pray for Israel as a country. I also ask that you would prayerfully consider giving financially to this trip as well. If you decide to do so, all you need to do is send in your gift by clicking here. You will be directed to the YouthFront site and from there you just need to click 'support nick online' and give your gift. It will then be deposited into my account. Yes, it’s that easy! (Sorry, I couldn’t resist...)

Know that I am very appreciative of the consistent support I have received over the past 3 years I have been on staff at YouthFront. If it wasn’t for the consistency and generosity of people like you I would not still be working here. Thanks for being you, and know that you mean the world to me.

NEXT STEPS

Recently I went to a concert in Lawrence, KS. I was a little uneasy about going in the first place because I was going alone, but I faced my fears and went ahead as planned. In hindsight I’m very glad I went because it ended up being an incredible night for me. It wasn’t incredible because of the bands or because of seeing people I knew. It wasn’t incredible because of a great parking spot or because of a girl. No, it was incredible for a completely different reason.

At one point during the show I heard a brief outburst of shouting...just a sentence or two, then silence. No one fired back, no one even acknowledged it—the show went on. After the third or fourth time I heard these shouts I had to find out what was going on so I peered over the balcony where I was sitting to see who was making all the noise. After scanning the lower level a couple of times my eyes locked onto the source of all the ruckus. It was a homeless woman who seemed to be having a conversation with herself, or with people who weren’t really there. There was no one who would go near her. Every time an outburst came you could see everyone take a couple of steps away from the woman. At one point I saw a couple of people leave and then return with the venue’s security. I watched as the security guard whispered something in the woman’s ear and then stood nearby to escort her out. The woman then lifted her hands in the air, gave the peace sign, waved a lighter around, and then gathered her belongings to be escorted out. I kept thinking that this woman thought she was at Woodstock.

This is when my heart broke. As soon as she left everyone in the crowd cheered, and it was a thunderous sound. It even caught the band playing off guard as they were in the middle of a song and had no clue what was going on. People quickly filled in the space previously reserved for the woman and the show went on. Shortly after seeing this entire thing unfold before me I was stirred to action, but not without a good amount of hesitation. I ran out of the venue to try to find the woman but after walking up and down the street in the front of the venue I realized that I was not going to find her. She was gone and a whole group of people were inside the building feeling very smug about what had transpired.

After all of this was done I ended up feeling a lot of different things. I was both angry and saddened by the people’s contentment with pushing this woman out of their community. I also felt a great amount of fear because I was contemplating going down to talk to the woman while she was in the crowd. I didn’t want to experience the embarrassment that could come along with interacting publicly with this woman who was talking to herself. All of these feelings aside, I realized something. What I had just experienced made me feel alive. I wanted to fight on behalf of the woman who was excommunicated. I wanted to show the woman that she is worth something. I wanted to show the woman Jesus and offer her some sort of hope.

Now I sit here at YouthFront two weeks later and am still wrestling with what went on that night. I think I have been battling these feelings of discontentment because my thoughts repeatedly turn to people like Kenny, a 62-year-old man I know who has no family or friends anywhere near Kansas City. I also think of my friend named Mike who is 19 and is battling some pretty serious self-image issues. These people are just like that woman I saw at the concert. They have been shunned from society and left to live life alone—mainly because they aren’t convenient to spend time with. They take things very personal, they talk about things that are tough to identify and connect with, they deal with things on a daily basis I have never had to deal with, and the list goes on and on.

I am done living a convenient life. I want to be close friends with these people who are hard to love. I want to have them over to hang out and eat, I want to know what their lives are like, I even want my friends to meet them so they can get a taste of what it could look like to truly love the least of these. Jesus calls us to the margins and all around us there are people who don’t fit into the mold our culture deems appropriate and we are charged to not only go there to be Jesus, but to also go there to see Jesus in them (Mat. 25:40).

I have decided to act out on these passions. I am going to be moving into a house very close to where both Kenny and Mike live. Through this I hope to devote more time to them—to become more involved in their lives so I can learn how to love more like Jesus loves, to give more like Jesus gives, and to inspire more like Jesus inspires. Do I know how long I will be at this house? No. Do I know how my life will look after committing to this? No. But these are crucial first steps for me to take in order to surrender more of my life to God, and to ultimately fall more in love with the One who rescued and restored me. Please pray as I make this transition. Have a great advent season.

November 07 Newsletter

2007-10-24T16:05:00.000-05:00

MY SCOOTER

Things are picking up again. The slow season is officially done for me as I start preparing for the different things coming up this fall. I am speaking at various Club 121’s, creating silly games for groups to play at our camps, and assisting with podcasts and worship nights. On top of that, our recruiting trips are starting up so we are readying ourselves to go travel all over the place trying to find some stellar college students to staff our summer camps. Needless to say, things have officially picked up.

Surprisingly, through all of this, I have actually been able to find some time to stay connected with my Father. Recently I was reminded of just how crucial this is, especially during times that seem to be unbelievably chaotic and busy. I was sitting at my church last Sunday, flipping through some Psalms during worship, and I came across a passage that really hit me hard. It was a timely find as I was feeling pretty overwhelmed by all that was going on in my life. The passage was Psalm 91. It starts out like this…

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.”

This particular verse brought up all sorts of vivid imagery in my head. This idea of dwelling is really comforting to me. I just love thinking about setting up shop in the very shelter of God, being near my Creator, and feeling content because I know that my God is looking over me. It was and is an overwhelming feeling for me. The only thing I can compare this feeling to is an experience I had growing up.

A long time ago I owned a scooter. I loved riding it around and around but hated—and I mean HATED—having to wear a helmet as well as knee and elbow pads. On one particular day though, those very pads I hated ended up getting put to good use. I was riding around on my scooter and decided to speed down my cul-de-sac. I did this sort of thing all the time, but this particular time I thought I heard a car coming up the road my street intersects with. I, of course, freaked out...and with me being so young I didn’t know which hand was which so obviously I was at a loss trying to determine which brake was the front brake and which brake was the back brake. I knew I had to stop—and fast— so I decided to slam on both brakes at the same time. This action proved to be disastrous as I immediately flipped over my scooter, bumping and skidding on the asphalt until coming to a complete stop. I was pretty banged up from the wreck so I did what any young boy would do...I ran up the street and into my house screaming and crying.

Once I entered my house though, my mom began to take care of all the nasty scratches and scrapes and I felt a little better. My time of chaos began to settle down and I began to feel safe, loved, and calm once more.

That kind of image is what made the verse really stand out to me. As I sat there in my seat at church thinking about that verse, it dawned on me that all I had to do in my current time of crisis is just come home and dwell in the shadow of the Most High. In the times where I felt banged up from life, crying and screaming for help, all I had to do was run home to my Father and He would tend to my wounds, comfort me, and love me.

Does this dwelling with God make my problems go away? Not necessarily, but through my utter dependence on God it made the things I was wrestling with much more manageable because I knew I was not tackling it—God was...and I got to assist.

My prayer now is that all of us will remember to dwell in the shelter of the Most High in all situations—because the more we dwell and abide with God, the more we are changed by Him. We will find ourselves having more love to give than we’ve had in the past, we will end up desiring to be more about the things God is about and ultimately we will end up becoming of one mind with God.

It is a beautiful journey we get to take! Press on! And remember that God desires all his children to come home. We just have to come through the door.

One of the beautiful things I get to do is visit the 62 year old Kenny. He is a hilarious man who now has local KC people he can call his family. Kenny is the one in the red.

October 07 Newsletter

2007-10-03T16:54:00.000-05:00

WHY I LOVE WHAT I DO

I am officially back into the swing of things. We just finished our annual retreat, The Altar, which went incredibly well. What is The Altar, you ask? The Altar is a weekend event meant to be very restful and inspiring. It’s a place to come recharge by engaging with God through His creation on our camp’s 600 acres of beautiful land, as well as through times of silence, solitude, teaching, and worship. We had a good turnout and there was one particular thing that made the weekend really stand out.

There was a large amount of Teen Staff attending The Altar so the other Teen Staff Supervisor and myself decided to have a Teen Staff Reunion. The Teen Staff are a bunch of high school kids who volunteer their time to work at our summer camps. After the summer ends we try to get together once a month for a time of prayer and encouragement. We call this time The Teen Staff Reunion!

So we gathered them all together on Saturday night for a special party in the Snack Shack. We gave them free drinks and hung out with them for a good 30 minutes. After that, we sat around and began sharing stories about how the post-camp life has been going. The kids shared their triumphs and their defeats...and at the end of that time we prayed for one another. The time was great, but what really moved me was when I saw a Teen Staffer moved to tears shortly after our meeting because God spoke to her in a deep way through the simple act of prayer.

Interactions like these are what keep me going after camp ends. In the past two weeks I’ve gotten the chance to not only pray with the Teen Staff but I also got the chance to hang out and catch up with a couple of other Teen Staffers.

With one Teen Staffer I simply listened to what was happening in his life, offered some encouragement, and prayed for him. The other one came to me seeking advice. All three of these recent encounters really encouraged me, but in an atypical way. Sure, they helped me to better understand the influence and responsibility I have as a man in a shepherding role, but it showed me something else—something I forget about all too often. Through all of this I was reminded of just how much I am filled by simply pouring myself out into these kids.

One thing I’ve noticed as I grow and mature in my faith is that Christianity is full of paradoxes. Lots of them. We are told that we must die in order to truly live, we are to find joy in our suffering, love those who hate, and the list goes on. What is crazy is that once we embrace these teachings and live them out, we are transformed just like the text said all along! These recent encounters made me recall yet another paradox in the Christian faith—the idea of overflow. The basic concept says that when we pursue God He fills us up to the point of overflowing (John 4:14). From there we then pour ourselves out only to then repeat the process. We are filled with God’s presence and then we spill it out into the streets. It’s similar to a lung.

What I thought was interesting in my recent interactions with the Teen Staff was as I poured out into them they poured into me. I left those conversations more refreshed than when I went into them.

Essentially I realized that my choice to engage more fully in the moment helped me to come alive. So many times I take the easy route where I end up disengaging and disconnecting from certain relationships and roles because of how hard they are. What I forget though is how much God teaches us through the simple act of engaging in real, authentic relationships. God ends up pouring into me more when I am more apt to pour out all that God filled me with in the first place.

This faith is full of paradoxes...but the older I get the more I realize it just makes sense, and that’s why I love what I do.

Aaron Mitchum and myself serving drinks to the Teen Staff at this year’s Altar retreat.

August/September 07 Newsletter

2007-08-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

A HARD SUMMER

First of all, I’d like to apologize for the late arrival of this newsletter. The summers are very draining...and it is always hard for me to find the energy to write up all that has been going on. After this newsletter I’ll be back on track though...so be thankful for that! For now though, please enjoy this summer update that covers both the months of August and September. I have also included two envelopes for giving...one for August and one for September.

With that said, I am now writing to you on my first day back in the office since the camp season officially ended. It’s good to be back with all my friends and coworkers but it is always weird transitioning from camp life to KC life. I still feel incredibly exhausted and a little disoriented as my schedule is now flipped around from the usual camp schedule.

This summer was filled with all sorts of new experiences that helped me grow and mature in many aspects of my life. For one, this summer I entered into a new position at camp which really stretched me. I had never been Teen Staff supervisor before and it was crazy being suddenly thrust into a shepherding role. It was both very rewarding and very difficult. At times I found myself incredibly excited because a teen staffer had an encounter with God—whether it came through a revelation or an authentic healing of their heart. I also found myself incredibly worn down and burdened at times when a teen staffer would open up to me and let me know about some of their hurts and struggles. On top of that, I was in charge of two new activity directors, maintained many trails and “sacred spaces” throughout the property, and I even spoke for a week at camp. All of which were things I had never had to lead out on before until this summer. It was chaotic and draining at times but I’m glad it happened.

That may seem kind of weird that I am glad that the summer was chaotic and difficult at times, but I am realizing more and more that I won’t grow any other way. It’s not until I’m in the mix learning new things that I am really transformed. Even looking back to when I went to India for the month of February, it was incredibly awkward and lonely at times but God ended up teaching me so much that I couldn’t help but acknowledge that I had been transformed for good. I came back from India loving God more, caring for people more, and wanting something different for my life. Essentially, I came back from India ready to surrender more of my life to God—ready to drop my own selfish pursuits in order to run with reckless abandon after the God of the universe.

In the same way, I know that God has taught me a lot this summer. During those hard times this summer when I would lose my patience, talk harshly towards someone, or draw inward and become selfish rather than remain servant hearted in all I do, I realized just how limited my love is. God revealed to me my own shortcomings and reminded me of how weak the flesh is. He didn’t stop there though. He also showed me how strong we become when we simply fall into his arms and let him “be” us. Through my hardships this summer I realized how much more growth is still in me. This faith really is a lifelong journey where we get to strive to become more and more like our Father, not because we have to, but because He first loved us and called us his beloved. I get to choose to become more and more Christ-like out of a sense of love and gratitude rather than out of a sense of obligation.

I love times like this summer. I get to learn more about who God is and more about who I am. The other thing that is incredible is that I know that as more time passes I will realize more and more about what God was trying to teach me throughout the summer through the many different experiences I had.

True wisdom and insight only comes after these difficult times. It reminds me of Proverbs 2 where it talks about how God grants those people true wisdom when they search it out like someone would search for silver or hidden treasure. Please pray that the teen staff and myself would continually look for ways to grow in our walks with God instead of defaulting on stagnation and contentment with where we’re at now. We can always grow and learn, and as followers of Christ we are called to be lifelong learners.

Swatting at horseflies in a Teen Staff cabin Week 2.

July 07 Newsletter

2007-07-07T17:58:00.000-05:00

WEARING THIN

Week 5 just came to a close on Saturday, and I realized something revolutionary—sometimes my patience wears thin. I get tired, cranky, annoyed, and downright irritated sometimes...and that affects how I interact with others.

With that being said, let me back up a bit and let you in on my summer thus far. As soon as I saw the first group of high school students entrusted to me for the week, my heart simultaneously jumped with joy and sunk due to feeling incredibly inadequate to do my job. Internally, I was battling comparisons to previous teen staff supervisors and was struggling with being present to the teen staff because of it. I spent most of my time that first week trying to create really good devotions and was missing out on just seeing and hearing the people I should have been prioritizing all along. My mind was elsewhere. Thankfully, God opened my eyes to those unhealthy thoughts and gave me victory over them. Through the encouraging words of many staff and teen staff as well as the many revelations that came from my own personal reading, I was able to get back to being myself...and I felt released to simply be available to the teen staff for listening, encouraging, and advising.

The two weeks that followed were more of the same...meaning that I was able to continue loving the Teen Staff because I still felt released to simply love and be present. Also during that time I began to realize more of what my job consisted of, and began to see the places God wanted me to take the teen staff spiritually. I loved it! Things began to click: my Teen Staff Assistant and I had worked out all the devotions, I was becoming familiar with my role, and the Teen Staff kept blowing me away with their maturity and passion. All of these things coupled together to create this overwhelming sense of joy in me. Things were fresh and new. I didn’t see how things could’ve gotten any better.

The next couple weeks took a crazy turn. About as soon as I thought things couldn’t get any better a bunch of attacks began coming my way. I found myself being pulled away more and more from my quiet times, tiredness began to set in, and the routine of camp life began to bring about apathy. After all, every devo was done...so obviously that meant I could shut off and run on auto-pilot, right? Um...no. Somewhere something had gone horribly wrong, and now I had to identify it.

The theme of the summer for the teen staff is overflow…it is this idea that whenever we are consistently being filled with God through our ever deepening connection with him, we end up loving God and people in a whole new way. We become more sacrificial in our love and ultimately we become more like the person we have been allowing to fill us—which in this case would be Jesus Christ. One night after talking about this I had the sobering realization that sometime during the summer I had let the very thing I was teaching slip from my own practices. I was no longer leading out...I was preaching things I was in no way practicing. On top of that, I began to become aware of how interconnected tiredness, apathy, and selfishness were. Not only was I not operating out of an overflow, but I had begun to shut down to certain people...drawing inward as people started to bug me. Essentially, I dropped the greatest commandment (Love God and love others) and took up one of my own crafting...love myself and do what is best for me always.

Soon after realizing I had been storing up all of this bitterness and brokenness inside, I had an encounter that really blew my mind. I was talking with our camp director, Jamie Roach, and he gave me a quote from an author he loves. The author talked about how our limited love really opens up our own insecurities. When we cross over from love to annoyance, we can pinpoint just how conditional our love is...and then we get the opportunity to try and increase our love by figuring out how to take joy in other people’s quirks and nuances. When we do the hard work of trying to love those who are hard to love, we end up loving people more like Christ does. Every time we examine ourselves and are able to love people despite our own shortcomings, we take steps towards being able to love all—even those who mock and persecute you. Incredible!

With that new knowledge, I was ready to try again. I was ready to return to God so I could again be filled to the point of overflow, and in turn be transformed by God’s love so I would be able to love all of God’s children again...quirks and all. I was ready to be stretched and challenged...and that excited me. It still does.

I love the verse John 4:14, where Jesus says “Everyone who drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty forever. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” This is my prayer...that I will be able to remain in this love so I can do God’s work without burnout or fatigue. I am wanting to always draw from that deep well that will make me thirst no more.

Teen Staff picture from week 4.

June '07 Newsletter

2007-06-18T17:29:00.000-05:00

So Here We Go...

So...it’s official. The 2007 camp season has begun. I moved down mid-May to begin preparing the grounds for the arrival of all our summer staff, and everyone has finally arrived. I was surprised to see so many new faces, as the last couple summers brought many returning staff. As our first week together wore on, I wondered what kinds of things our community would rally around and what kinds of things we would learn through the various hardships that come along with camp life. Each summer has so many lessons contained in it, and I have already had a couple of good ones thrown my way.

This summer has really been one of transition. There are many new summer staffers I get to work alongside this summer season, and virtually every one of my full-time YouthFront coworkers are either new to their specific roles or have not been at the camps for many years. I am even taking on the new role of Teen Staff Supervisor...which has brought its own set of challenges. Ever since I arrived at camp, I have been trying to juggle about a million things. From training the new sports guys to preparing the massive amounts of trails we use all summer for walking, biking and alone time with God, I have felt like I have been neglecting my main role because I am getting hung up on all the little things that are usually taken care of by this time in the camp season.

I was asked to speak to the summer staff during our orientation week, and I decided to speak on this idea of being present. Basically, I was suggesting it is better for us to be listening and watching for those campers who need to be loved by the God who is love rather than lock ourselves away and become so consumed with trying to come up with the sweetest devotion time that we end up missing out on the interruptions Jesus always took advantage of. As Jesus went about his public ministry, there were many times people would stop him to ask for healings and miracles, and sometimes Jesus stumbled onto some people He knew were hurting inside and really addressed that need. He would not have been able to do that if He didn’t have “eyes to see” and “ears to hear” those lost sheep crying out to be rescued.

As I spoke about this idea, I realized my own failings in being present. I was so caught up in the things I was telling the summer staff to guard against that I was missing out on all sorts of beautiful interruptions. I was caught up in efficiency—making sure all elements of camp were prepared by my hands in a timely manner. I was keeping a watchful eye on everything the sports guys were doing, trying to manage a huge landscaping endeavor, and trying to prepare for my own role as spiritual leader for the teen staff. I had unknowingly put my shepherding responsibilities in last place. I had become so consumed with all the tasks still needing to be done that I had blinded myself from being able to see the sheep I needed to tend to (I Peter 5:1-11).

Please pray that I would have “eyes to see” and “ears to hear” as I jump into week after week of exhausting work. I desperately want to be a good caretaker of the people God has put me in charge of, but I can’t do that unless I first stop and take time to let God pour into me so I can be open to seeing those who need to be picked up, brushed off and brought back into the flock. Thanks a ton for your prayers and I apologize for not getting this letter out in a timely manner. Next month I will try to redeem myself with an on-time release.

2007 Summer Staff

May '07 Newsletter

2007-05-07T15:55:00.000-05:00

RECOGNIZING MY LIMITATIONS

With camp being just around the corner, many worries tend to creep into my noggin. Couple that with the busyness of my personal life and you can conclude that burnout will be unavoidable unless drastic changes take place.

I have been spending many nights sitting at my cubicle working on hiring Teen Staff, and despite the long hours I still try to make time to hang out with my friends. The downer is that there isn’t enough time in the day. So now I am faced with a question: What will I give up in order to lead a more balanced life? After thinking through how I could change in order to achieve this balance, a couple things came to mind.

I recently saw a documentary about some monks called “Into Great Silence,” and something struck me in this. These people really cherished the discipline of silence and solitude and what was interesting to me is what brought them joy. They prayed and worked and ate in silence, but you could tell that they were loving what they were doing. In addition to their daily tasks, they would take walks once a week around the hilltops just outside of their monastery. Seeing the way the monk’s faces would light up really perplexed me. These people lived with the bare essentials and the exciting point of their week simply getting to talk with their brothers while they walked around admiring all that God had created. Later on that night, it clicked with me. I think that over the course of my life I have lost touch with the beauty of simple living. Whenever I see things like that movie, it provokes something deep within me that just seems so much more right than what I have bought into. I have accumulated all this stuff, watched all these movies, played all these video games, bought all of this musical equipment...and it has in turn made me blind to the simple beauty of good conversation and deep friendships.

The other thing I have begun to realize throughout this time of questioning is that I may have too many friends. I know this sounds funny, but I am really questioning this. Whenever I look at Jesus’ ministry, I notice something...He hung out with twelve people pretty regularly, and of those twelve people there were only three who hung out with Jesus more intentionally. Granted, tons of people hung around Jesus and He definitely didn’t brush by them...but He intentionally did life with twelve people. This is incredible to me. Why would Jesus only choose twelve to do life with? Why not more? Why not a lot more?! Besides the rich symbolism of that number twelve, there is also something very practical about it. As I look at our culture and how we strive for efficiency in all facets of life, I see this number as being very inefficient. I like that it is this way though—it wouldn’t work any other way. Not only did Jesus use these twelve people to transform the world, but I think He also realized that relationships take time. In order for a relationship to be truly deep and intimate there has to be many conversations, shared experiences and time just being around each other (even if it feels like time wasted)—in other words, inefficient. If not, trust is never built and you never end up revealing yourself to the other person...which is exactly what God wants. He has already revealed (and continues to reveal) himself to us, invited us to enter into life with him and all we have to do is wake up to it and accept it. From there we get to journey with him, learning more about who God truly is and how we fit into the big picture as one of his beloved children. On top of that, we have the incredible privilege of inviting others into the same relationship we are already experiencing. I love this stuff!

With this realization I now look at all the different networking websites I am signed up on, all the text messages I send, and I realize that I am trying to have meaningful relationships with entirely too many people. I have been juggling hundreds of relationships for years, and now am experiencing the consequences of that. I can’t ever remember who I make plans with and when, so at any given time I am having to apologize and reschedule hang out times...which is rather exhausting. I also am suffering because I neglect the relationships I really should be nurturing. I am being pulled in a million directions because of my friend count and it is pulling me away from family and friends...ultimately leaving me with NO deep relationships. That’s a scary thought.

So what does this all mean for me? A new beginning of sorts, I guess. I am going to make a valiant return to early internet days...meaning I am going to just have an email account and my Youthfront blog...nothing else. I realize I don’t need the extra distraction of these “networking” sites that are a poor substitute for real friendships. Other than that, I am going to try to simply be a good steward of the great family and friends God has blessed me with...while still being open to those little interruptions He throws at me. I am not disowning all of the friends I have made over the years, but am simply choosing the “twelve” and doing life with them. In other words, I am ready to really take a stab at trying to “Love God and love others” ...and this is just one step towards trying to live that out better.

Nathan and me at Six Flags.

ST. LOUIS

This last month was really refreshing. One reason why is because of a person...and that person’s name is Nathan. Nathan is a disabled teenager who attends my church and I got the sweet opportunity of being his ever-present friend for a weekend retreat the middle school group takes every year. We went to the St. Louis Zoo, Six Flags and the Old Spaghetti Factory. It was great.

What made this trip so special was that I really got to start living out some of the things I had learned while in India. One of the things came out of a book where the author talked of his experiences with Mother Teresa while he was in Calcutta. Basically the author talked of how Mother Teresa was able to do the type of ministry she did, and he found that it was because she looked for and found Jesus in the people she served. In Mat. 25, Jesus says, “as we do unto the least of these, you have done unto me.” Mother Teresa saw Jesus in these people and was able to love them in a very unique, different way. In her mind she was giving Jesus clothes, food, shelter and a loving gesture.

While on the trip I was able to ride rides, eat funnel cake, answer questions and laugh out loud with Nathan. I know for a fact I would not have been able to love the weekend if it wasn’t for that passage and its implications. As I looked into Nathan’s eyes I can honestly say I saw Jesus there. Nathan was beautifully and wonderfully made, and I am still blown away that I got to share that time with him. It was an incredible experience for me and I now have a newfound admiration for the parents of disabled children. Also, I think it is safe to say that I will never again use a handicapped bathroom stall...when they gotta go, they gotta go!

April '07 Newsletter

2007-04-06T18:12:00.000-05:00

PRESENCE & DIVISION

I’ve been back from India for a few weeks now, and I am beginning to finally settle back in. It was quite a shock to return to the US even though I was only gone for a month. I experienced so many things that were previously foreign to me that it was hard to return to the familiarities of Kansas City life. As the dust continues to settle, there are a couple of major things I took away from the trip.

One of the things I immediately noticed was how much of a difference it made to have times of silence and solitude. While the children were at school I would also be studying...and praying...and studying...and praying some more. On any given day I was quiet for roughly 8 hours. It was incredible seeing how that time really affected the way I interacted with people for the rest of the day. I was seeing a huge increase in my capacity to love, as well as an increased amount of patience, compassion, and joy. I would go about my day completely awake to God in everything. I was actually beginning to see God’s beauty in all things—in the rocks, the trees, the hills outside of the complex, and all the people (regardless of their beliefs).

I read a lot about Mother Teresa while I was in India, and she was all about seeing Jesus in the least of these...and as I thought about this and how Jesus did his ministry, I realized that Jesus saw ALL people for who they were...men and women created lovingly by God. Their choices and lifestyles didn’t change who they were...and Jesus brought this fact to light. In the case of the rich, young ruler...it says that Jesus looked at him, LOVED him, and told him to sell all his stuff. The man couldn’t do it. He walked away, but Jesus loved him.

My mind has been officially blown.

The other thing that has really been weighing me down involves division. Ephesians 4:1-6 talks about how we are all unified because of Christ, but yet I look around and see the exact opposite. I see high schools with sub-groups galore, I see hundreds of different church denominations that are content with doing things alone, I see neighborhoods that are either nice or the ghetto, I see counties that make jokes about each other (Jackson and Johnson), and I see countries that have a lot and countries that have little to nothing. Wow! This isolation and division thing runs deep.

I recently read a book called “The Irresistible Revolution,” and in it the author makes an incredible point. Look at the life of Jesus. Here was a man who was not only born in the ghetto, but continually broke through social barriers. He was touching lepers, loving thieves, and saving an adulteress from being stoned to death. He was also confounding many teachers with his wisdom...this man was everywhere! He was not afraid to interact with those who did not think the same way as him.

Shane Claiborne, the author of “The Irresistible Revolution,” was so moved by this that he up and moved into the ghetto. He left his rural town and set up shop in Philadelphia with some friends. After getting settled and some time passed they began to develop some deep relationships with their neighbors, and before long they were having dinner at each other’s houses and were looking after each other’s kids. What is going on here? Community! Shane didn’t see people as black or white, rich or poor...he saw them as Jesus sees us...children of God. That kind of sight enabled them to love without an agenda. They were able to love every person they met because they saw God’s children...whether the people they talked to chose to believe it or not.

These two lessons have been incredibly challenging to me, and I would really appreciate some prayer as I figure out how I can better love people and try to create solidarity with those we tend to forget and neglect.

LATE NIGHTS

Since I’ve been back, I have been racing like mad to catch up on all the hiring I need to do for camp this summer. Wow! It is proving to take much longer than I ever anticipated. One thing that surprised me though is the caliber of many of the high school students I’ve interviewed. They are incredible! It made me wonder why on earth I was ever even allowed to be a teen staff, since my main goals for teen staff were to meet girls and go down the waterslide.

There are tons of examples as to why I feel like these students are way ahead of the pack, and here is just one example. It is not uncommon for me to ask the teen staff what job they would like to do, but their responses are what floor me. Many applicants when faced with that question simply reply with something to the effect of, “It doesn’t matter. I just want to serve.” Are you kidding me?! Who responds with that? The teen staff supervisors who have come before me really paved the way by instilling this deep sense of service and humility in the teen staff, and I can’t wait to continue to develop them as they simultaneously teach me.

Since I was gone for the month of February, I have been spending most every evening at the YF headquarters making phone call after phone call. The conversations I’ve had totally make it worth it. Every time I hire another student, it just makes me that much more excited to really pour my life and faith into them. Ah, the beauty of making disciples! I can’t wait to get to camp.

But since I do have to wait, I definitely could use some prayer as I meet with the different camp directors to discuss my plans for how the teen staff program will look this summer. It will be my first summer ever in this particular position so I am pretty much diving in headfirst and seeing what happens. Thanks for all of your support! I really appreciate the prayer...especially as I enter into another crazy busy camp season.

March '07 Newsletter

2007-03-15T17:45:00.000-05:00

I'M BACK!!!

Wow! I have absolutely no idea where to begin. This trip was unbelievable! I’ve been back for two days now and I am trying to process all that happened while simultaneously trying to catch up on a month worth of missed work. It is proving to be quite difficult, but I am confident all will work out just fine as long as I continue to rest in God’s arms—letting Him take control of everything I am and everything I do.

I am sure you are all wondering what happened while I was there...so here is a brief snippet of the wave of events that took place.

Most of the month was spent in the children’s home where I played with the kids and served them meals. Many of the children there don’t get enough direct adult interaction so I decided to make it my job to simply be present to them. I think I succeeded in this because my legs still ache from all the soccer matches that went on. I also initially tried to attend the school, but soon after realizing that I couldn’t understand a thing they were saying, I quickly turned my mornings into an intense time of solitude, filled with much prayer and study. It was incredible to see my capacity to love increase greatly because of how much time I was spending just trying to be with God. I now know that the times spent in silence are the only reason I was able to love people day in and day out.

The children at the NASA home.

Outside of the daily children’s home duties, I also went to many rural villages. I distributed rice, dedicated a well, distributed money to a leper colony, worshipped alongside nomads in a tsunami relief village, and played guitar in a local church. In other words, I got to do quite a variety of things while I was there.

A well dedication at a nearby school.

As the month came to a close though, things got crazy. I saw a horrible accident on the freeway just outside the children’s home where a truck hit a father and son riding on a bike. The father ended up dying right there and the child ended up only having a fractured leg. I could not believe what I was seeing. It really brought home the brokenness of this world, the frailty of life, the foolishness of the relentless pursuit of material things, and the desire for God’s Creation to be restored to its intended state. To top it off, the next day I visited a Hindu temple and it was a very dark place. I now know what it looks like to sacrifice animals and to see idol worship. I also now have a very distinct visual for what it may have looked like when Jesus walked into his Father’s temple and turned over the tables of the merchants, as there was every indulgence known to man inside the temple I visited. It was absolutely insane to see.

Some of the idols at the temple.

After my time ended at the children’s home, I went to Madras and visited the St. Thomas Basilica, where Thomas was martyred. That was significant for me because it served as a reminder to the danger of following Christ.

A crucifix at the St. Thomas Basilica. The sunlight really made this beautiful.

From there, I went to Amsterdam to spend a couple of days at a ministry called the Cleft. This is a community of people who simply go out into the streets and build relationships with prostitutes, homeless people, drug addicts, and drug dealers. They try to love people relentlessly despite the many different addictive cycles these people may be trapped in. It was incredible to see just how fluid of a life the people of the Cleft lived. They would live normal lives like you and I, but they would have many different God-sent interruptions that they would take advantage of. Meaning that as they went about their day, if they ever saw one of the street people or addicts, they would immediately drop what they were doing in order to love them in a very concrete way. Again, it was great to see how we can live out the type of life Jesus lived 2,000 years ago, and to see how transformational this kind of life is even now!

A canal in Amsterdam.

So that is a very basic summary of my trip. Thank you all so much for your prayers while I was gone. God definitely blew my mind by revealing Himself to me in the most unexpected and beautiful ways. Now I get the opportunity to share my experiences with the teen staff this summer. Please pray that I will remain very receptive to the Holy Spirit’s guiding as I begin hiring the teen staff that will serve this summer.

February '07 Newsletter

2007-01-26T18:47:00.000-06:00

INDIA...FINAL DETAILS

So I now have my vaccinations, visa, malaria medication, and plane tickets. The waiting game is what I am playing now. I am getting pretty nervous, as it is the first time I have ever decided to go somewhere where I know absolutely NO ONE! I am traveling to India alone, and upon arrival in Vishakhapatnam, I will be picked up by someone I don’t know from the town of Tuni to begin getting settled in for the month.

Once I’m there, I really don’t know what I’ll be in for. I know I will be working with orphans through an organization called NASA. I may end up teaching them English or math on top of just hanging out with them. Other great things I will at least get to see, if not participate in, are as follows:

The leprosy house. There are different groups of people in India who are afflicted with this disease, and much like during the time of Jesus, they have been shunned. The people of India are leaving them for dead, and think the very sight of them is offensive. NASA partnered with the government to build a community for these people so that they can have homes, live productive lives, and gain a sense of identity through Christ.

Widows and elderly assistance. Due to economic circumstances and crumbling ethical behavior, many people, once they have reached a certain age, are driven from their homes. Once this occurs, many die from starvation or illness. Their only means of income comes from begging on the streets. NASA actively seeks out these people in order to provide aid, a listening ear, and a means of making a living. For widows and other people, NASA will provide things like sewing machines...so they can not only make a living but also have some restored hope.

Social action ministry. NASA does much in this arena as well. One of the most amazing things to me is their push for women’s emancipation. In India, women are usually treated as objects, and are seen as tools necessary for child bearing and rearing. Also, women are subject to sexual exploitation and dowry, and usually die from malnutrition or complications from being forced into prostitution.

NASA is working to change this. They are involved in trying to organize women and encourage their communities that emancipation will lead to a more whole community. What is great is that they have actually made progress in this area! It is just really encouraging to see these injustices being dealt with in such a way that is life giving and so full of hope.

I have heard it said on numerous occasions that India has a way of changing people, and I am certain that this will be true in my case. Pray that God will increase my capacity to love as I go to serve and love “the widows and the orphans.”

Also, I am just giving you all fair warning now, but please accept my apologies in advance for my March newsletter. Since I get back from India on March 8th, I will not be able to get the newsletter out until a few days after that. Thank you in advance for your graciousness...if I were a woman, I would probably do a curtsey here.

Before and after pictures of my room.

MY ROOM - BEAUTIFUL!

So in an earlier month’s newsletter I wrote about simplicity. To be honest, I’ve written about a lot of different things God has been convicting me of but haven’t actually acted on many of them. Either I would get bogged down by different things and forget about it altogether, or I would just put it off for no apparent reason.

Which is why I am pleased to announce to one and all that I have successfully simplified at least one aspect of my life. What does this mean, you ask? Let me tell you! I got rid of much of what I own! I’ve been feeling the need to rid myself of many of my not needed possessions, and after one week of intense sorting, bagging, and dumping at the local salvation army...I now own much less than what I did before. I got rid of 6 bags of clothes, 6 boxes full of random trinkets, 3 major pieces of furniture, numerous other chairs and tables, and even painted a wall. It feels good, I’m not gonna lie.

The main reason for doing this is in order to set myself up better to just go as God would call me. Jesus called his disciples into ministry with a simple charge…“Follow me.” What is great is that the apostles would respond by “...leaving everything, rising to follow him.” These people left what they had behind to follow a greater purpose. These people who followed Jesus made themselves available by their willingness to leave their worldly possessions and occupations behind them.

The thing that makes following Jesus tough sometimes is the simple fact that we aren’t willing to let go of certain things in order to be used by God. I just have felt convicted to try and detach myself from my possessions so that if I am called to go, I can go...and go without hesitation. Please pray that as I move closer to the summertime that I will listen intently to God concerning how I should set up my life in order to be more in-tune with him...and so I can, in turn, serve the teen staff better.

(to learn more about the organization i'm going to work alongside, visit www.nasaindia.org)

January '07 Newsletter

2007-01-05T18:55:00.000-06:00

INDIA OR BUST

As I sit here and think of the things that usually consume my thoughts, I can’t help but think it all to be problematic. Sometimes I’ll be jealous of a person who is funnier than me; sometimes it kills me to not be the center of attention; sometimes I desire to have more things than I currently own—the list goes on and on. What I now realize is that I have failed miserably at recognizing just how much I have been blessed. Here, in America, we are afforded many luxuries that the rest of world does not have, and yet we still argue and fuss over things like scratches on the car’s paint job or an annoying boss. We get easily wrapped up in the very petty things and consequently rarely see the bigger picture God is painting before us.

I recently saw a movie called Hotel Rwanda—a film about two tribes in the midst of civil war where one tribe set out to completely eradicate the other. In the film, the main character holds out hope for outside assistance from countries like America, but is quickly sobered by a comment a journalist made.

“People will watch this on their TV’s and say, ‘Wow! That is really horrible!’ and then go back to eating dinner.”

This quote really has stuck with me because I know it is true of me. I hear about murders and robberies all the time on the news and I usually utter the exact same response. I know it’s not feasible or practical to act on every single tragedy we hear about, but there are definitely times when God is tugging on us to act on our convictions…it’s just that we don’t listen to that calling very well. Thankfully though, God is persistent and able to get our attention in order to snap us out of our complacent spells. Once God enters the picture He has a way of not only burdening the heart for those who are suffering, but also increases our capacity to show deep, authentic mercy, compassion, and love. God then gives us the opportunity to lead out and act on these convictions.

God invites us into being a part of the restoration of his kingdom. We aren’t here to simply live life comfortably and then die—leaving the problems we created for the next generation to deal with. Instead we are to listen for those cries of help from our brothers and sisters in this broken world, and then respond to it. We are called to live a life of sacrifice—putting others before ourselves—always allowing ourselves to be molded and shaped by our Creator. Once we begin to allow God to speak into our lives, our capacity to love increases and we become better equipped to love people in a very rich and deep way.

I want humility—not pride. I want passion—not complacency. I want dependency—not self-sufficiency. I want to be able to walk through a mall looking at all of the goods prying for my dollar and be able to immediately dismiss it. Instead, I want to walk through the mall and see people…people who are feeling like no one knows who they are, people who don’t know how they could carry on, people who are angry at God for the unexpected loss of a loved one…I want to fully see these people and love them as Christ loved me.

So in a month I go to India to try and gain a better understanding of what kinds of hardships people are having to endure around the world. I am curious to see how these people find joy in the midst of their depravity, and I hope it will grip my heart in a way that I will no longer want to fight the petty battles and constantly wish I had more. Learning to find contentment in relationships and actively seeking to be present to those who are hurting is what I want my life to be about, and my hope and prayer is that this trip will be the beginning of a new season in my life…a season where I stop talking and start doing as Christ compels me. Please pray for me as I go to work with the orphans over in Tuni, India.

The teen staff decorated people for the teen staff Christmas party.

IT HAS BEGUN

So this newsletter may sound a bit like a broken record considering that last month I wrote about these very same two topics, but I am really really excited about these two things so this newsletter will be more of the same.

So this past Wednesday I ventured to Wal-Mart to grab some organizers so I could stay ahead of the teen staff game. After all, I will begin hiring all the teen staff for South in just under two months. I felt good about my purchase and rested easy that night. The next day at work I went to check my mailbox and low and behold there were the first two applications staring me right in the face. I quickly grabbed the papers and headed back to my desk. After working on some other things for a bit I found myself looking over the applications. I recognized one of the students from the previous two summers and became ecstatic. I don’t think it has really sunk in that I am getting the unbelievable opportunity to disciple these high schoolers for a summer and beyond.

I’m also really thankful that this was the feeling I got rather than the typical sense of overwhelming anxiety. This summer will be my first time filling the role of teen staff supervisor, and there are many things I am still unsure of. There will be times where I may have to send kids home early, and I often wonder how I will handle such situations. There will also be plenty of times when these students will go above and beyond the call of duty and I will get the chance to encourage and speak life into them. Will I be able to see these opportunities as they arise, or will I just let them pass me by?

Despite these questions I still know that if I am continually surrendering to God, He will draw me towards wisdom and right decisions. God has a way of putting his people into situations that are challenging and stretching, and I am just thoroughly excited for this upcoming summer. Please pray that God would guide me as I prepare myself to lead these students for 11 weeks straight this summer.

(to learn more about the organization i'm going to work alongside, visit www.nasaindia.org)

December '06 Newsletter

2006-12-08T14:45:00.000-06:00

MOTIVATION

This time of year always brings it’s share of hardship for me. It seems as though the second the temperature drops, so does my motivation. This doesn’t apply to everything, though. I still love doing the usual ministry type things at YouthFront—teen staff gatherings, recruiting for camp, downstairs worship nights to name a few—but this time of year is especially trying on me in the area of support.
I recently sent out a number of letters to people that, Casey Kapple, a good friend of mine, recommended to me. Casey was once the middle school youth pastor at my current church, and was also a YouthFront coworker of mine. After his recent departure, he blessed me by recommending that all of his supporters support me since he took a salary youth pastor position at a local Kansas City church. This was a huge thing since I had pretty much dwindled down my own list of possible supporters. The problem then became a matter of motivation. I would go into work with the intent of following up with those people I had sent those letters to, but would always get caught up in other work-related tasks and never got to it.
And the Casey Kapple story isn’t the only blessing I’ve received of late. This last month I had a huge amount of support come in, which is great as I am planning on going to India for a month. On top of that, I’ve had numerous letters of encouragement come in from supporters, random donations taken for me by people I hardly even knew, and I even had two supporters fly me out to California where they live in order to relax, read, and possibly gain some new supporters. I couldn’t ask for more confirmation that I am exactly where I should be. But still I struggle to find the motivation to actually follow through and get my support up to where it should be.
As I have thought and reflected on this ongoing struggle, I am reminded of just how broken I am. I am a man who definitely struggles with many different things, but I am also a man who is incredibly passionate and will dive head first into the work I so dearly love. The real struggle lies in trying to muster up the want to do the “not-so-glamorous” things in life and work. I mentioned in an earlier newsletter how I was excited to have finally achieved a more relaxing schedule. I had rid myself of many of my prior commitments in order to have more time to myself. Instead of staying true to that relaxed schedule, I ended up just as busy as I was before, only now with a new set of commitments. I have definitely come to more of an understanding of Paul’s struggles. Romans 7:18-19 says, “For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” I have the legitimate want to do these different things that I know would be very good and fruitful, but then end up just sitting around doing none of it.
I guess what I am driving at is that it is very easy for me to disengage from life, and there are different times and events that bring about these times in each of us. Would you guys please consider committing to pray for me as I am in the midst of one of these times? I have come understand the unbelievable power of a heartfelt prayer, and am convinced that God hears our cries and responds to them in his great mercy. Please pray for my life and work—that my work would be fruitful, and that I would not just have the want to do the more tedious things in life and work, but also the motivation to execute on those things. Thank you guys very much for your continued support of me, and know that I really appreciate all that you do to help me succeed in what I do. I will be praying for you and sincerely hope that this Christmas season will be a time filled with love, laughter and joy!

Just us crazy folk at the Teen Staff Christmas Party!!!

TEEN STAFF AND INDIA

Kind of an odd title, I know, but these two things are connected…I promise. Over the past two years I have had some pretty incredible revelations from God. These types of encounters continue to happen on a regular basis with me, but with less of an impact as before. And so begins my journey to figure out why.
This year I decided to take on a new role at YouthFront. I am now the new teen staff supervisor at YouthFront Camp South. This last weekend we had a teen staff Christmas party, and it was really great to see all of these high school’ers interact with each other. They were laughing together, worshipping together, and praying together. It really motivated me for my new role coming up this next May.
Immediately after this party, however, I started to reflect on how I could lead these high school’ers in a very humble and authentic manner. I thought of all the really great things I’ve been learning about God over the past two years, and how I would love to share that with them. But then something happened inside of me. I became a little down and out. I had realized something. How on earth could I lead these people and teach them the things I would like to teach them if I haven’t first tried these things out in my own life? Over the past two years I’ve felt convicted about tons of things, some of the main themes being caring for the forgotten people in Kansas City, living a simpler life so I can give more, being more restful with my time, and acting more quickly on God’s callings without hesitation. Basically, the desire to be more like Christ had become more and more all-consuming to me, but I had essentially done nothing to act on these deep desires within me.
And so now I have decided to venture over to India. While I’m there, I will be working with an organization that helps out many orphans, AIDS victims, and lepers. The reason I even chose this place is because of the severity of the problems that exist over there. My hope is to not only serve the poorest of the poor in a very practical way, but to also let God use this experience to turn my life so upside down that by the time I come back, there will be no way I could possibly live the way I do now—knowing the kind of pain and injustice that exists out there.

(to learn more about the organization i'm going to work alongside, visit www.nasaindia.org)

November '06 Newsletter

2006-11-02T09:43:00.000-06:00

SO I SAW THIS MOVIE...

I watched a freaking good movie tonight…and let me just say that I absolutely love movies that are done well. The reason I think I like movies so much is because of what they do to me. After a good film I will usually leave and spend the rest of the night reflecting on the circumstances, actions and thoughts of the people involved in the film. It may sound strange, but it’s as if I leave with this heightened sense of reality where I am very aware of all that’s around me.
I saw this particular movie with my friend, Ben…and we were both freaking out pretty much the entire duration of the film. Afterwards though, I started having crazy thoughts again (as is the case on most nights post-movie). After Ben and I parted ways I began to head home. I popped in some tunes, and began noticing some things. As I drove along the dark highway, I realized how lonely this time of night is. There’s virtually nothing around you—it’s just you and this vast expanse of road—and everything just lends itself to helping create that lonely sense. You sit at stoplight after stoplight and will most times not even see a single car. You pass by a mall and the lot is empty—the usual hustle and bustle of the day is nonexistent. You pass by streetlight after streetlight…and even they convey this sense of being lonely. How on earth can a lamppost be lonely?? It’s an inanimate object!
My thoughts didn’t stop there though.
I then thought back to the nights where I had really felt alone in this life, and I was really encouraged that my heart has remained tender throughout the times of hurt, pain, and personal failures that I’ve had to cope with thus far. After that thought passed, the very same question I was asking myself became outward. As cars would sporadically pass me, I would wonder if the person in that car was lonely, tired, or struggling to retain any sense of hope for this life. My heart immediately broke.
I then had tons of light bulbs go off in my head. I realized this is to be my life purpose. I really want to do as Christ did and help restore hope to the hopeless. I want to encounter people and have them leave with smiles on their faces, laughter in their hearts, and joy—genuine joy—in their souls. There is a passage that really goes well with this thinking. It’s Isaiah 61:1-3.
Recently I finished recording a band and during one of our phone conversations a funny interaction was had. The band was expressing how much they loved the recording, and after going on about that for a bit they said how happy I had made them. I responded by saying something to the effect of, “Anytime. It’s what I do.” Now this may be a funny example to pull from, but I realized that even something as simple as recording can be very rewarding on many levels. Sure, money is made and I may have the possibility of gaining more clients—that is, if the quality of the recording is exceptional—but that’s not the point. The thing that really makes this type of thing rewarding for me is getting to sit back and watch these guys go around and show everyone what they’ve created. It’s just great to see their faces light up and then to see that energy focused on telling everyone they know about their new recording and how everyone should own a copy…or three. Ultimately, it’s not about me gaining anything from the band, but rather me getting the opportunity to instill that sense of joy and purpose in them. Not only that, but to also have the awesome privilege to sit back and watch them transform from being all calm, cool, and collected to a bunch of Mexican jumping beans! It’s all about getting the chance to love them as Christ loved (and still loves) me.
Growing up, my dad would always take these obscenely out of the way routes to get to whatever place we were headed to. I remember frequently getting upset by this…usually because it meant we would be done having family time way later than I wanted. I was always wishing to be elsewhere, and I felt that these leisurely routes were pointed attacks meant to upset me to no end. Looking back on that now though, I think my dad was just doing what I am now having the desire to do. He was just trying to gather the family together for some quality time. He was just looking for time for us to all come together and laugh, love, cry, and just enjoy one other. It worked too…there were numerous times where I didn’t want to be there initially, but by the end of the night we were all laughing together (usually at something one of us did that was rather embarrassing) and I don’t think any of us were wanting that time to end. I’ll bet that my dad was taking all those leisurely routes in order to keep those special moments alive, and that is unbelievably beautiful to me.
This is where I’m headed I think. I’m done trying to manufacture success for myself…it’s not worth losing sight of the beauty of the current moment, and I really truly am looking to position myself in a way that is conducive to setting others up for success. I would much rather have that be my legacy than anything else I could conjure up on my own. Caring for all the hurting people in the world is a large task, but it’s something I feel that all of God’s children are called to eventually. I just love the fact that I get to take part in the restoration of God’s kingdom. I, a broken person, get to play a role in restoring the good and perfect kingdom of God…bringing all people back into an unbelievably close, intimate, and right relationship with the Creator of the universe.
I think it’s inherent in every human—this unspoken desire for there to be those special “all is right with the world” moments like the ones I got to share on those leisurely drives and recording projects, but a lot of times we don’t live in the moment enough to recognize it. My goal from this point forth is to try to love people with the love of Christ (which is a much better love than I could ever give anyone) so other people can enjoy those beautiful moments where they feel like they belong—that they really do matter…and that they don’t just matter to me, but that they matter to God.
Thanks to you guys for allowing me the chance to work with students and really live this out. If it wasn’t for your support, this goal of mine would be much tougher to achieve. So thank you!!!

October '06 Newsletter

2006-10-06T14:31:00.000-05:00

STRIPPING DOWN

It’s not uncommon to hear friends tell me “It’s okay, I know you’re super busy,” whenever I tell them I can’t hang out with them. In the past this never bothered me, but recently it’s been something I can’t seem to stop thinking about.
At camp this summer, one of the main themes I took back with me was the need for rest and solitude. Camp’s schedule is set up intentionally to go against the grain of our culture, purposely taking things slower—allowing time to enjoy relationships, creation, and God. It was really refreshing to be fully in that for the four months I got to live at camp each of the past two summers. However, one thing I noticed once I returned home is that I immediately fell back into keeping an insanely busy schedule. I would be out and about from 9am-11pm daily doing work, hanging out with friends, or doing random errands. It’s only been two months since camp ended, and I’m already fed up with this routine. It has already left me feeling exhausted and has the potential to really mess up my life.
So now its time for a change. I’ve been blown away by some of the things I’ve learned recently on this topic, which makes me all the more motivated to change some of my bad habits I’ve developed over the years. The big “slap in the face” for me came when I was at church recently and the pastor was talking about the Sabbath. It was incredible to hear just how the Sabbath is really intended for our good! We have all this stuff to build and maintain—whether its at work, home, or in our many relationships—and if we never take a break...we will soon collapse. I am realizing now that I need rest; that I am not God. I am a creature with limitations and I need to accept that fact and spend time resting in the Creator’s love.
And so the restructuring begins. I’ve been trying to declutter my life and rebuild it in a more restful way; leaving time for resting in God’s sovereignty. It’s a tough thing, but good. Over the past month, I’ve successfully eliminated virtually every commitment I’ve ever gotten myself into. Now I am faced with the challenge of not only thinking through a new schedule that reflects the things I’ve been learning, but also facing the challenge of implementing the new schedule once it’s all figured out.
This presents a whole new set of problems which will be tough to navigate through. I am now faced with questions regarding the number of people I hang out with in a given week, how much family time I should have, and how much time I should leave open for potential quality time with God and with people who need it. Much discernment is needed for this to go well, and I would greatly appreciate your prayers as I wrestle through this.
It’s a tough thing to balance all I’m doing at work with the rest of the things I need to be doing to ensure long-term success without burnout. I’m really thankful for the Bible and all it teaches me. Just pray that I don’t lose sight of the reason behind me doing this in the first place, and that I will constantly remember Psalm 23 as I go about my daily life.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters...”

Katie G, Kenny, Nick, and Danielle all attending the special “Afternoon with Kenny” birthday party. He’s 61!!!!

AFTERNOONS WITH KENNY

Every month, some friends and I get together with a good man. His name is Kenny, and if you have ever been to either the New Earth or Main Street coffeehouses then you know exactly who I am talking about. For those of you who don’t know the man, please allow me to bring you up to speed on all things Kenny.
Kenny has been a staple at both previously mentioned venues serving as a security guard, he loves all the bands he gets to meet (he is usually sporting a wide array of different band’s merchandise), and he is a master of the pun. Anytime you say something simple like “Hey, Kenny!” He will quickly reply with the always irreverent, “Hay is for horses.” So as you can see, Kenny is a man who loves life.
The monthly ‘Afternoons with Kenny’ have also made me realize something. He has made me realize how important time is to people. I have heard almost every time we’ve met how much he loves getting to hang out with us...and you can tell he loves it by how he just lights up. This really drives home the reason for my restructuring, and how important it is that I leave time for people. I’m not talking about a quick 30 minute cram session, but an afternoon or an evening just hanging out and being inefficient.
Relationships, if they are efficient, are probably not healthy. Relationships require a lot of time and care...and can’t be dealt with in the same way a work project can. If we tackle relationships in this way then we’re really not loving people, we’re only loving ourselves. I’m currently learning to really take things slow when it comes to being with people. Please pray that I will block out sufficient time to be inefficient with people, so I can better love them.

September '06 Newsletter

2006-08-30T15:30:00.000-05:00

A REVELATION

I recently went to YouthFront Camp South to work a retreat for a local church. While I was there I was able to enjoy some good conversation with the camp manager, Fletch. We started off talking about completely random and silly things, but then we turned the corner and started discussing life and God. It was pretty incredible.
I shared with Fletch a few different things I had been dealing with as of late—the main one being about doubt. Over the past 2 years, I have had a few good bouts with doubting whether I should continue my work at YouthFront. Anytime I would go into one of these seasons, a couple things would happen.
First, since this was a ministry job I put some serious weight behind any doubts I ever had. I took every questioning thought to heart, and viewed my doubts as a sign from God for me to move elsewhere. The problem was that there was never any clear indication that I was even supposed to actually leave. There would be some occasions where I felt like not working for YouthFront, while other times I would love everything about the job.
The thing that really made these doubting seasons bad were their timing. I would be smack in the middle of raising support, and then BAM! Doubt hits and instantly I would shut down. I would still go to work, but I would immediately pause all support raising efforts—because if I’m not supposed to work at YouthFront anymore, why should I raise money I’ll just end up giving back? Consequently, I am now at the end of my second year on staff here at YouthFront and I am still struggling to get the remaining 50% of my support raised.
After I shared this with Fletch, he spoke some real wise words to me. Essentially, he talked about how different people in the Old and New Testament doubted, but they went on following God’s calling regardless. When people in the Bible doubted and ended up putting everything on hold until they received another confirmation that “yes...this is still what God wants you to do,” they were typically in the wrong. Just look at Saul who hid under the pomegranate tree—too afraid to fight the Philistine army. God had given Saul’s army clear directions, but they began to doubt, fear, and ultimately freeze up. Jonathan, however, did as God wanted despite his father’s inability to act.
The implications of this truth really opened my eyes. I began to understand the fact that doubting happens in all aspects of life, but God’s calling speaks in a whole different way. Doubt caused by a bad day at the office is completely different than God telling you to be in a different place than you currently are.
Fletch also gave me 3 reasons why it seemed to him like I was where God wants me:
1. I am surrounded by a community that consistently builds me up.
2. I have had unprecedented spiritual growth since I’ve come on staff.
3. God has used me countless times to really get kids fired up for living a life wholly devoted to God.
So now I am entering my 3rd year on staff, and I am not only ready to start diving into support raising...but I am ready to really give YouthFront all I’ve got—even in those doubting days.

Phil & I led an aerobics class for Jacob's Well at YF Camp South

YOUTHFRONT AND ME

“So Nick...what do you do now that camp is over?” I get this question a lot right after every camp season comes to a close, so I figured I would clear the air by letting you guys in on what happens at YouthFront during the non-camp season.
The biggest thing I do here involves camp, and believe it or not...it is something we as a staff work on from November to August every year. That basically means we have a 3-4 month break between camp seasons...and then it all begins again. We take lots of trips to colleges to recruit staff for our camps, we plan the curriculum for camp, write camper manuals, develop sports themes and activities, hire and train around 300 staff and teen staff, prep the grounds and buildings for campers to start coming...and that’s just a partial list. There is just a lot to do every year before anyone even sets foot on our property for camp.
Aside from doing camp, I work various retreats at our camps (hosting, doing sports, teaching, etc). I also either plan or assist in the execution of many city-wide events YouthFront pulls off every year. The main events being the Altar, Youth Worker Training Days, Serve Day and the Youth Worker Appreciation Dinner. On top of all that, I am also heavily involved at my church. I disciple a group of high schoolers and I help lead worship at our twenty-something service called the Gathering.
Basically, there is more than enough work here at YouthFront to keep me going year-round, and I am loving what I am doing. YouthFront gives me the freedom to take random trips to serve in various countries, work at camp, pull off city-wide events and disciple kids all under one occupation. Thanks for allowing me to continue in such a great ministry!